AMADEUS AWAD LYRICS

1. Opia

...right where it ends

I don't really believe in love,
I don't even know what that is,
and they say it all starts when we feel our mothers breathing,
their chests move against our delicate bones and massage our way into life;
but I never chose my mother; I never knew who she was,
I was rather forced into this world by hers and my father's choice to have a child;
I don't know what love is.
And then I got attached to this family, to this house, to these entities,
and I felt like I can't live without them.
They had their own lives, their own rhythm, ambitions, fears and secrets,
I was introduced to everything they are by what they chose to tell me,
I built an image of them and worshiped it,
I lived their moments and interacted with their choices.
I had what they chose to give me,
I knew what they chose to tell me,
I don’t know what love is.

You might be wandering,
Why I wrote this song?
It's not a lullaby for the broken
It's a breathless gasp
From the depth of the weakest lung
My nightmares, unspoken

Oceans apart
Don't you know from the start
That I lied to you?
But this bleeding heart
Is not what you should fight...

I took a vow to leave
A verse upon your skin
Sealed with tears of hope and fear
The needle broke
The ink was lost within
Layers unclear

Oceans apart
Don't you know from the start
I never lied to you
But this bleeding heart
Will never see the light...

2. Sleep Paralysis

It's after midnight
And the pills are kicking in,
This dizzy hand of mine
Is searching for your skin,
I smell the sheets
Your scent is gone,
I bet the walls
Feel so alone.

I hide some memories
In the corner of my mind,
I lived a childhood dream
Of the crudest kind,
And then I found
Some peace in you,
I fixed myself
To see it through.

Dream on
Give it time
Hang on
They will find you.

Dream on
Face the time
Move on
They will find you.

I took a vow
To fight the self I hate the most
To break the here and now
And save you from my ghosts
But you don't dare
To wait for me,
The war is lost
And now you're free...

Dream on
Give it time
Hang on
They will find you.

Dream on
Face the time
Move on
They will find you.

Dream on
Hang on
Move on
They will find you...

3. Monday Morning

Last time I saw you,
there was no smile on your face,
there was none on mine either,
and no one knew it was meant to be a
last goodbye...
I pulled over few minutes later,
face in my hands,
palms full of tears
and started talking to everything around me...
What if I weren't here?
What if we never met?
What if you weren't the woman you are?
What if it was me who died in that explosion and not my brother?
Would my mother have cried more? Less?
Would it make any difference to you
if you never knew the very details of my face?
My palms are never dry.

4. Tomorrow Lies

Who would deny
The ruins of the past
They hide in lines
On my face

The stories of love
And smiles that never last
Hopes I never
Embrace

I found me a dream
Through the memory
Of the dead
And followed the trace
Of every drop
They bled

Into the night
I summoned all their scars
I kept too close,
From you they kept me far.

There is a reason why
Tomorrow
I'll be searching for today
I will always need
The sorrow
Of the time you walked away

I laid by your side
Like a carcass in a womb
No signs of life
But your smile

This heart in my chest
Was aborted like a sin
Love was the crime
All the while

There's a reason why
Tomorrow
I'll be searching for today
I will always need
The sorrow
Of the time you went away

I will find a way
To break this wall of stone
And destroy the day
When you left me all alone

Wake up
Find them
Tell them I'm gone now
Don't cry
For now we say goodbye

I still believe
That the color of your eyes
Turns the night into song

And over your skin
The ink runs dark and dry
A verse of silence at the dawn

In darkness and sorrow
Illusions is all what we are
In darkness and sorrow
Illusions will take us too far
I'm your illusion

5. Lonesome Clown

I don't deny
You won't forget
You wonder why
I don't regret

My mental space
Is just a tomb
Wrapped with lace
And thoughts of doom

I entered your mind
And your flesh
And filled your lungs with toxic air
But is it fair to run?

A face that you should
Never see

Was hidden
Both from you and me
I swear I've tried
To burn this corpse but....

Death Is Just a feeling
That you're never coming back
It's just a bloated heart
And an empty bed
A room that's full of cries
And screams that drive me mad
If death is just a feeling
Then I am surely dead

My eyes grow dim
When the night comes down
I wear the mask of
A lonesome clown

I lost my crown
And now I am no one

I didn't know it would be late
I thought you'd stay
I hoped you'd wait
The dream is short
My sins still grab
Me by the throat, and...

Death Is Just a feeling
That you're never coming back
It's just a bloated heart
And an empty bed
A room that's full of cries
And screams that drive me mad
If death is just a feeling
Then I am surely dead

In your mind
I am a beast, too wild to tame
And you'll cry
When the wind cries my name
I ask you forgiveness
I know you can hear this

I try to smile
But the wounds forever bleed
Down the aisle
I burned the books, denied the creed
I ask you forgiveness
I know you can hear this

Take my hand
Make me dream
Tell me it's not what it seems
Wake me up
Let me in
Empty this heart of the sins
I beg you forgiveness
I know you can hear this

Death Is Just a feeling
That you're never coming back
It's just a bloated heart
And an empty bed
A room that's full of cries
And screams that drive me mad
If death is just a feeling
Then I am surely dead

If I were you I would have run away, and if I were me I would have followed you,
but as days slipped through the fabrics of my existence, I
came to realize that I was no-one, that everything I know of is an illusion,
that I myself am a projection of hundreds of tiny thoughts that came together by the
coincidence of tragedy.

That night, I took a pill for every thought, spilled ink over every little corner of the life I
thought I'd lived,
I closed my eyes, felt the pills invading my veins, felt the ink filling my lungs,
my nerves started to give in as my sobriety broke down into darkness.

The tiny rays of light that danced along the bed sheets the next day were the alarming
revelation that death is just a feeling and that what I killed last night wasn't my flesh,
but my connection to the surreal skies I roamed in since the creation of the universe, I was
already dead when you touched my face, death is just a feeling.

6. Temporary

I met a man
Who spent his life
Begging
For a dime and five
On every avenue
But I never knew
He'd see the world
With better eyes
He'd laugh at our
Earthly lies
He stared and asked
"Boy, is that you?"
He knew my name
He knew my shame
He said
"Boy don't you dare to blame
yourself for this, Don't you know
That it's all temporary,
You, your face
And the pain,
It's all temporary,
My mind is cold
And vain"

I wonder what daddy felt
When he said his last words,
What colors did he see
As he left this ugly world

Did he hang on to a breath
Did he fight for his life
Did he think of the kids
Did he smile for his wife?

His son will never
Ever learn
That the light of
The fire burns
Upon a touch
That love is too much...

He'll be straying
Left and right
Wondering where
To spend the night
His stranger heart
Is torn apart

But it’s all temporary
You, your face
And the pain
It’s all temporary
My mind is cold
And vain.

I looked art in the eyes; I embraced her, read her,
played her strings...
The lunatic, the mad, the insane...
I am.
I want the whole universe to know that
The story begins...







AMADEUS AWAD LYRICS