ANAL CUNT LYRICS

1. I Became A Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked For It

You shouldn’t have been a woman
You shouldn’t have had a cunt
You deserved it
'cause you’re a dumb cunt

[Pre-chorus:]
D-U-M-B C-U-N-T

[Chorus:]
You deserved it, you deserved it, you deserved it, you’re a dumb cunt

You should’ve worn a chastity belt
You should’ve volunteered to fuck him
You should’ve been ugly
I hate you because you’re a woman

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus]

2. Easy E. Got A.I.D.S. From F. Mercury

Even though you were black, you listened to Queen
You thought Freddy was the cutest guy you’ve ever seen
You went backstage and got fucked in the ass
You took an HIV test, you didn’t pass

[Chorus:]
Easy E got HIV from Freddy Mercury [x4]

You went to dinner, Freddy wore a leash
You ate fried chicken, Freddy ate quiche
Now Freddy’s dead and he’s in heaven
At his wake you ate watermelon

[Chorus]

3. I Like Drugs And Child Abuse

I smoke lots of crack and my girlfriend has a kid
I like drugs and child abuse
When she’s in the bathroom, I kick him in the balls
I like drugs and child abuse
When she’s at work, I teach him how to shoot up
I like drugs and child abuse
When she beats him up, I sit there and laugh
I like drugs and child abuse

When he was in 3rd grade, his best friend OD’d
Because I made him sell heroin and speed
I like beating kids for no reason at all
I like doing drugs and beating up kids

4. Laughing When Leonard Peltier Gets Raped In Jail

I never bothered to find out why you’re in jail
But, I think it’s funny that you are
I hope you didn’t actually do it
And your life got ruined for nothing

[Chorus:]
I don’t know why you’re in jail
And I don’t fucking care
I hope you get raped every day
I’m glad you’re stuck in there

You were probably in a drunken Indian blackout
You were drinking Listerine in the desert
Your bartender shut you off, so you tried to scalp him
Then you tried to shoot an FBI agent

[Chorus]

5. I Convinced You To Beat Your Wife On A Daily Basis

[Chorus:]
BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT YOUR WIFE [x4]

Your wife’s so fucking possessive, she complains when you’re with friends
She’s always a whining cunt, you cave in 'cause you’re a fag

[Chorus]

If she doesn’t do the dishes or get you another beer
Then punch her in the face and throw her down the stairs
If you don’t beat that cunt, she’ll walk all over you
Beat her every day, it’s lots of fun too

[Chorus]

6. I Sent Concentration Camp Footage To Americas Funniest Home Videos

My uncle was best friends with Hitler
He had some cool footage of Dachau
I was watching America’s Funniest Home Videos on dust
And sent some footage to that fucking gay show

[Chorus:]
I sent concentration camp footage to America’s Funniest Home Videos [x2]

I didn’t win the $10,000
So I sent internment camp footage
I didn’t win again
So I sent Birth Of A Nation

7. Rancid Sucks (And The Clash Sucked Too)

Ska is gay, Reggae is gay
You’re fucking gay and you’re not punk
You say you hate corporations, but you were on NBC
London’s calling and they’re calling you gay

[Chorus:]
Rancid sucks, Rancid sucks, Rancid sucks, and The Clash sucked too [x2]

If Kenny G had a Mohawk, he wouldn’t be punk
If Yanni had dumb tattoos, he wouldn’t be punk
If Garth Brooks pierced his nose, he wouldn’t be punk
If Liberace sounded like The Clash, he wouldn’t be punk

[Chorus]

You’re gay, you suck [x6]
And The Clash sucked too

8. I Paid J. Howell To Rape You

Jim Howell beat his wife so his brother-in-law fired him
We were trying to think of ways we could help him out
I saw you wearing a 311 shirt and reading French poetry
To your lesbian lover who was wearing a beret

[Chorus:]
I paid Jim Howell to rape you [x4]

First we gave him a fifth of Old Crow and some Schlitz
We told him you’d probably be at the Random Road Mother show
While you were talking to Joe Bonni about clove cigarettes
He yanked you away and fucked you up the ass

[Chorus]

RAPED, RAPED, RAPED, you got raped by Jim Howell [x4]

9. I Pushed Your Wife In Front Of The Subway

I was in a bad mood because my crack house got busted
I saw you and your dumb looking wife waiting for a train
I could tell it was true love
So as the train pulled in, I pushed her into it

[Chorus:]
I pushed your wife in front of the subway [x4]

I pushed your wife in front of the subway
It was on the orange line, but the tracks were red
I pushed that cunt in front of the subway
You had to tell your daughter that her mommy was dead

[Chorus]

It was so crowded no one saw who did it
Then I saw you crying like a fucking pussy
Good thing she never got the chance
To tell you she was pregnant again

I pushed your wife in front of the subway

10. Extreme Noise Terror Is Afraid Of Us

There’s 3 of us, there’s 6 of you
We’ll still beat the shit out of you
Your band sucks, your band is gay
You kicked us off the tour, 'cause we blow you away

[Chorus:]
ENT are scared of us
ENT are scared of us
They’re fucking gay
ENT are scared of us

First you ripped off Discharge, then Napalm Death
You’re gay homosexual faggots, plus you’re fucking gay
We’re faster than you, we’re heavier than you
We’re better than you, and Dean has a dumb haircut

[Chorus:]
ENT are scared of us
ENT are scared
They’re all a bunch of faggots
And they’re fucking gay

11. You Rollerblading Faggot

You’re a rollerblading, rollerblading, rollerblading faggot [x4]

I saw you riding down the street on your rollerblades
Drinking a frappuccino, you’re totally fucking gay
You’ve got a Korn shirt and tribal tattoos
You rollerblading faggot, I fucking hate you

Rollerblading, rollerblading, rollerblading faggot

12. I Sent A Thankyou Card To The Guy That Raped You

You just came from a Bikini Kill concert
You felt like a strong independent woman
Two guys were having a “rape the ugliest cunt possible” contest
You weren’t a strong woman anymore

[Chorus:]
I’m glad you got raped
You stupid dyke cunt
I’m glad you got raped
'cause you’re a stupid dyke cunt

I laughed as I watched him rape you
Then I bought him a few beers
Every year on the anniversary of your rape
I send him a Thank You card, you stupid fucking dyke cunt

[Chorus]

13. I Lit Your Baby On Fire

I spent all my money on drugs, and couldn’t afford to fly
I took a greyhound bus, you and your brat sat next to me
It wouldn’t shut up, so I lit it on fire
For 30 seconds it was louder, then it shut up

[Chorus:]
I lit your, I lit your, I lit your, baby on fire [x4]

You came back from the bathroom and smelled something burning
You realized it was your baby and I started to laugh
You asked the driver to pull over, but he laughed at you too
You yelled at me, so I roasted some marshmallows on your kid

[Chorus]

14. Body By Auschwitz

You fat slob, you flunked Jenny Craig
You flunked Weight Watchers, you’re 500 pounds
You hoard calories like Dig hoards cash
Here’s the ‘Final Solution’ for your fat

[Chorus:]
Body by Auschwitz [x2]

[Censored part]

[Chorus]

15. I Intentionally Ran Over Your Dog

Your dog was your only friend
You spent your life savings fixing its broken leg
You loved it more than your parents loved you
And then I ran it over

[Chorus:]
Your dog was dumb and now it’s dead
My tire tracks are tattooed on its head
[x2]

I dragged it 50 yards down the street
And you ran after me in tears
I almost cried because I was laughing so hard
Then I turned around and tried to hit you

[Chorus]

16. Sweatshops Are Cool

You came to this country for a better life
You spent weeks hiding in a leaky boat
You work 18 hours a day, 7 days a week
For 50 cents an hour, you should’ve stayed home

[Chorus:]
Sweatshops – you can barely afford rice
Sweatshops – your home’s infested with mice
Sweatshops – 100 of you live in one room
Sweatshops – I hope you get deported soon

I’m glad you’re underpaid
I’m glad you get ripped off
You’re too dumb to go on welfare
You suck guys that look like Dig off

[Chorus]

17. Woman, Nature's Punching Bag

[Chorus:]
Women, nature’s punching bag [x4]

You didn’t get me a beer
You were one minute late with dinner
You bought the wrong kind of beer
You wanted a career

[Pre-chorus:]
[Censored part]

[Chorus]

You forgot to cash my unemployment check
You’re having your period
You want to visit your mother
You want to have another kid

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus]

18. I Snuck A Retard In To A Sperm Bank

You fucking dyke
You didn’t want to get touched by a man
You wanted to be a strong single mother
So you ordered a sensitive, gay poet’s sperm

[Chorus:]
I snuck a retard into a sperm bank [x4]

Instead of a bright poet offspring
You’re stuck with a drooling retard
You went broke paying for special care
Your girlfriend left you for another woman

[Chorus]

19. Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck

[Chorus:]
Eric Clapton sucks, Eric Clapton sucks
Eric Clapton’s gay, and he’s fucking gay

Your father is the 4th worst singer
After Springsteen, Seger, and Petty
You were sick of his gay fucking songs
So you jumped out a really high up window

Your father sucks so fucking bad
You knew you’d get beaten up at school
You were sick of hearing “You Look Wonderful Tonight”
So you jumped out a really high up window

I almost wish you didn’t die
Because I hate the song “Tears In Heaven”
I was glad you died until I heard that song
And Kevin Sharp is gay

20. I Ate Your Horse

Your dad took out a second mortgage to buy you a horse
You loved and took better care of it than yourself
You combed it, cleaned it, and fed it apples everyday
I was broke, drunk, and hungry, so I killed your horse and ate it

[Chorus:]
I ate your horse [x4]

When you came to the stable the next morning
You found a pile of hair, teeth, and hooves
I hid around the back to listen to you cry
Then I beat an old lady to death with the leg bone

[Chorus]

21. Hitler Was A Sensitive Man

[Chorus:]
Hitler was a sensitive man [x4]

He went to art school when he was younger
He wanted to be a painter
Hitler was a vegetarian
He was also a non-smoker

[Chorus]

He hired gay and handicapped officers
He was concerned about overpopulation
If Hitler were alive today
He’d listen to The Cure, The Smiths, and Depeche Mode

[Chorus]

22. You Robbed A Sperm Bank Because You're A Cum Guzzling Fag

You couldn’t pick up a guy at the gay bar
Male prostitutes wouldn’t take your money
You jerked off 8 times and ran out of your own
So you broke into a sperm bank, you cum guzzling fag

[Chorus 1:]
You’re fucking gay, you’re fucking gay
I only wrote this song to piss people off who are gay
[x2]

When you broke in, Rod Stewart had already beaten you there
Luckily you were both good friends
You both sat around and drank 10 gallons of sperm
While listening to Los Crudos and watching Marilyn Manson videos

[Chorus 2:]
You’re fucking gay, you’re fucking gay
If you don’t like these lyrics, don’t buy our records you fag
[x2]

23. I Made Your Kid Get AIDS, So You Could Watch It Die

A few years ago, I snuck Freddy Mercury into your son’s room
I gave him anesthesia so he’d never remember getting raped
You spent your life savings putting your kid through college
Then he died of AIDS, so you wasted your money for nothing

[Chorus:]
I made your kid get AIDS, so you could watch it die
I made your kid get AIDS, so I could watch you cry

You thought your son was on a diet, so you didn’t worry too much
At the funeral, I told you what happened and laughed at you
I didn’t think that you suffered enough
So I shot your wife in front of you

[Chorus]

Braces, summer camp, college, you wasted all your money
Food, clothing, trips to Disney World, you wasted all your money
Birthdays, Christmas, the tooth fairy, you wasted all your money
Lunch money, field trips, toys, you wasted all your money

24. I Fucked Your Wife

Your wife was so fucking bored with you
I was in Boston for a court date and she fucked me
I threw an ashtray through a Chinese restaurant’s window
I met her at an Upsidedown Cross show

[Chorus:]
I fucked your wife
I fucked your wife – I bent her over
I fucked your wife
I fucked your wife – your marriage is over

Larry Lifeless was buying her drinks
I told her how I used to be a crack head
Next thing I knew, she was jerking me off
You’re jealous because your band went nowhere

[Chorus]

25. Into The Oven

First you lived on a farm
Then you got your head cut off
Then I bought you in a grocery store
Pretty soon you’ll be on my plate

[Chorus:]
Into the oven [x3]
I’m gonna eat you for Thanksgiving

I’m not a faggot vegetarian
I don’t care if the Indians lost their land
I think it’s really funny that they did
I like eating lots of food on Thanksgiving

[Chorus]

26. I Gave Nambla Pictures Of You Kid

I followed Artimus Pyle after a Lynyrd Skynyrd show
He ended up at a NAMBLA meeting
I knocked at the door and Artimus Pyle answered
I gave him pictures of your kid because I hate him

[Chorus:]
I gave NAMBLA pictures of your kid, Artimus Pyle, Artimus Pyle, Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle, Artimus Pyle, Artimus Pyle, Artimus, Artimus, Artimus Pyle

The next day there was a line at your door
Artimus Pyle was going back for seconds
Your kid had a lock of Artimus’ beard in his ass
Your kid made Artimus’ Saturday night special

[Chorus]

Lynyrd Skynyrd used to be your favorite band
Until Artimus had your kid’s dick in his hand

27. The Only Reason Men Talk To You Is Because They Want To Get Laid, You Stupid Fucking Cunt

You think you have a lot of male friends – you don’t
You think guys care when they ask for your opinion – they don’t
You think your best friend’s boyfriend doesn’t want to fuck you – he does
You thought the bartender was being nice to you when he gave you a free drink – he wasn’t

Your neighbor helped you move – he just wants to fuck you
Your boss bought you lunch – he just wants to fuck you
A guy bought you a drink – he just wants to fuck you
He asked you to go out for coffee – he just wants to fuck you

You think you’re one of the guys
You think you’re all good friends
You’re eventually going to get raped
You stupid fucking cunt

You stupid cunt [x6]
You’re a stupid fucking cunt
You stupid cunt [x6]
You’re a stupid fucking cunt

28. I Made Fun Of You Because Your Kid Just Died

I was at the hospital laughing at cripples
Then I heard your kid just died
Suddenly, that was funnier than the cripples
So I tracked you down and made fun of you

[Chorus:]
Your kid died, and you cried
And I thought it was funny
[x2]

It was an open casket wake
I spilled my beer in your kid’s coffin
Your mascara ran because you were crying
So I kicked your husband in the balls

[Chorus]

29. Domestic Violence Is Really Really Really Funny

You caught your wife fucking the mailman
You threw her down a flight of stairs
Your son came home with 4 D’s and an F
You kicked him in the balls and in the face

If I was a cop, called to your house
I’d congratulate you for beating your spouse
I’d shake your hand for beating your son
If he was my kid, I’d take out my gun

[Chorus:]
Domestic violence is really, really, really funny [x4]

Your teenage daughter came home pregnant for the 3rd or 4th time
You put on your boots and kicked her in the stomach
Then you caught your wife sucking the mailman’s dick
So you threw her down the stairs again

If I was a cop, called to your house
I’d offer to shoot your no-good spouse
If I had to deal with your teenage slut
I’d gladly kick her in the gut

[Chorus]

30. Dictators Are Cool

Pol Pot killed a million of his people
Idi Amin ate that many for dinner
Papa Doc, his son was even cooler
Ross the Boss was in Manowar

[Chorus:]
Dictators are cool [x2]

Mussolini got pissed on by his people
Hitler had a Charlie Chaplin mustache
Dick Manitoba grabbed my girlfriend’s tits
Mark Mendoza was in Twisted Sister

[Chorus]

31. Deadbeat Dads Are Cool

Why waste your money on that fucking brat?
You didn’t even want to have it anyways
She was too stupid to get an abortion
So she should be stuck paying the bills

[Chorus:]
Deadbeat dads are fucking cool [x4]

Don’t give that stupid cunt a cent
Don’t pay that fucking brat’s rent
Don’t pay money for it to eat
If you’re cool, you’ll be a deadbeat

[Chorus]

32. I'm Really Excited About The Upcoming David Buskin Concert

I bought a bus ticket to the log cabin
I’m gonna start a pit during the first song
I’m gonna request “Papa You Were A Sailor”
I’m gonna bring 3 lighters to the show

I was really psyched to see Morbid Angel
I was really psyched to see Upsidedown Cross
I was really psyched to see Al Stewart
But not as much as

[Chorus:]
David Buskin, David Buskin, David Buskin is coming to my town

He was much better with Batteau
But he’s still heaver than Six Feet Under
I’m gonna drink 5 cases of beer before the show
And smoke tons of pot, crack, and dust

I was really psyched to see Judas Priest
I was really psyched to see Black Sabbath
I was really psyched to see Phranc
But not as much as

[Chorus]

33. Being Ignorant Is Awesome

I like to laugh at retards
I like to laugh at cripples
I like to make fun of gays
I like to beat women

I like assuming black people stole something
I like assuming Jews jerk off to photos of banks
I like assuming Chinese people can’t drive
I like assuming women are dumb cunts

[Chorus:]
I like being ignorant [x4]

[Repeat second verse]

[Chorus]

I don’t want to read the paper
I don’t want to read the news
I don’t want to know what’s going on
I just want to keep hating you

34. You're Pregnant, So I Kicked You In The Stomach

I thought you were a fat chick
Then I realized you were pregnant
I thought it would be funny if your baby died
So I kicked you in the stomach

[Chorus:]
I kicked you, your baby’s dead [x3]
Ha ha ha, your baby’s dead

There were no stairs to throw you down
There was no roof to throw you off
There were no coat hangers around
So I kicked you in the stomach

[Chorus]

35. Chris Barnes Is A Pussy

You hid on your bus
You were afraid of us
You wouldn’t fight me 'cause you’re gay
You had your roadies save the day

[Chorus:]
Chris Barnes is a… faggot – you’re fucking gay
Chris Barnes is a… faggot – you’re a fucking faggot
Chris Barnes is a… faggot – your breath smells like cum
Chris Barnes is a… faggot – you like dicks up your ass

You’re a fucking midget, so you can blow guys without kneeling
You and Allen West met at a gay bar and wanted to start a band
You got kicked out of Cannibal Corpse because you suck
You started Six Feet Under and they suck too

[Chorus]

I’ll fight you anytime you fag
But you’ll have your roadies fight for you
If you’re so brutal, why won’t you fight me by yourself?
You fucking cum guzzling faggot homo pussy

36. Tim Is Gay

Tim is really really gay
Tim is gay
He’s fucking really fucking gay
Tim is gay
Tim is really really gay
Tim is gay
He’s fucking really fucking gay
Tim Morse, you are gay!
Tim is gay
Tim is gay
Tim is gay
Tim, you’re such a queer
Tim is gay
Tim is gay
Tim is gay
Tim, you’re gay!
Tim is gay!
Tim, please face it, you’re gay!
Tim is really really gay (YOU’RE GAY!)
Tim is really really gay (YOU FAG!)
Tim is really really gay (YOU’RE QUEER!)
Tim is fucking really gay (FUCK YOU!)
Tim, you’re a fucking faggot
I hope you fucking die

37. B.T./A.C.

[No lyrics, just Seth making fun of Kevin Sharp’s vocals]

38. I Sold Your Dog To A Chinese Restaurant

I was on my way to turn in illegal aliens to the INS
And your stupid fucking dog was barking at me
It sounded like a singer from a gay death metal band
I wanted to kick it in the fucking face

[Chorus:]
I sold your dog to a Chinese restaurant [x4]

After I beat the fucking shit out of it
I wanted to throw it through your fucking window
But I needed money to buy some more whiskey
So I sold it to a Chinese restaurant

[Chorus]

Your family ordered a pu pu platter
You didn’t know what you were eating
It was your fucking gay faithful dog
While you were at the restaurant I lit your house on fire

39. I Got An Office Job For The Sole Purpose Of Sexually Harassing Women

“I’d like to work here without being harassed”

If you work with me, prepare to get harassed
When you’re standing at the copier, I’ll pinch your ass
I don’t care if you’re ugly, don’t care if you’re old
You’re still a woman and I want to make your life miserable

[Chorus 1:]
I’m gonna make you quit, I’m gonna make you quit, I’m gonna make you quit because you’re a woman [x2]

I’m gonna spread rumors that you’re easy
I’m gonna threaten to rape you on your email
I’m gonna leave a dildo on your desk
So everyone can see it you stupid cunt

[Chorus 2:]
I’m gonna make you quit [x3] because you’re a woman
I’m gonna make you quit [x3] you fucking cunt
I’m gonna make you quit [x3] you fucking bitch
I’m gonna make you quit [x3] you stupid cunt

“Leave me alone!”







ANAL CUNT LYRICS