BEFORE I TURN LYRICS

1. Aglæca

"I never knew that such evil existed
I always thought that the devil was a metaphor
For profoundly immoral and malevolent happenings
While many revelations seemed to surface tonight
The one reality I can't seem to shake
Is my discovery of how much blood the human body can hold"

I hear the tear, from the penance of a knife
He drinks a crimson filter made from loss of life
I come home to find the one I adore
Face down, lifeless on the floor
Please God, give me fortitude
For the courage I lack will stab me right in the back
Lost love, give me solitude
I give you one last goodbye as death selfishly claims you

I fear I'm falling through the cracks of hell
And now in unison the voices start to yell

"Let us in, let us in, let us in"
Bringing to surface every virtue and sin
Let me die, let me die, let me fucking die
Don't want to spend another second looking in his eye

You feeling lucky? Just watch what I'll do
Open this fucking door and let me kill you

And now they're screaming

"Let us in, let us in, let us in"
Bringing to surface every virtue and sin
Let me die, let me die, let me fucking die
Don't want to spend another second looking in his eye

I sit and stare as they pound on the door
She's face down, lifeless on the floor
I fear I'm falling through the cracks of hell
And you're the only one I can tell

Cold shrieks turn into humble cries
She speaks unto the silent night
I'm feeling apathetic, I'm feeling death
I feel that this will be the night you take your last breath
Open the door 'cause I'm ready to fight
Only one of us will survive this night

2. Latent Perception

The demon knocks and he screams my name
"Open the door and meet your fate"
The wood breaks and my heart does too
An evil presence passes through me
I'm losing all perception
I lost my fucking mind
I let the tears fall out
And swallow what's left of my pride

With a knife in my hand, my heart will be crossed

With a knife in my hand, my heart will be crossed
An evil heretic will find his life lost
Your name on my wrist, I start to emboss
Always and forever, my love will be dossed

Fiend, you fiend, you took away from me
My love, my life, my pride, you took away my everything
Watch, as now you'll see the crimson flood
Let's see you laugh with a mouth full of blood
Laugh as you die, I'll laugh as you die
Your blood, as it froths, it stings in my eye
I thrust and I thrust but still you're not dead
I can't stop the madness that dwells in my head

With a knife in my hand, my heart will be crossed
An evil heretic will find his life lost
Your name on my wrist, I start to emboss
Always and forever, my love will be dossed
With a knife in my hand, my heart will be crossed
An evil heretic will find his life lost
Your name on my wrist, I start to emboss
Always and forever, my love will be dossed

Revenge tastes just like deficiency
My perception acts with latency
Who did I kill, who did I kill?
Forgive myself? I never fucking will

3. Bereave

"I see the moonlight hit her skin
As if trying to shed light on her morbidity
I pretend her eyes are fixated on me
But they're fixated on nothing
They're dull and lifeless just like the night itself
But why does it feel like I've lost you long ago?
Why does it feel like this stagnant emotion
Has carried me forever?"

Her pupils getting wider by the seconds
Are getting duller as the reaper beckons her
She lets it in; one last breath
And holds it in, waiting for death

Try to ignore the pain
We'll never kiss again, we'll never kiss again
Trying to hide my shame
I tell her it's alright; it's just a bad night

Choking as you start to cry, let me look you in your eyes
Everything around me dies, so darling, rest your head
The blood, it stings my eyes, and so I watch you die
You deserve eternal peace, but death, it comes in threes
First my love, then my pride, then my fucking self
Try living life with your heart on a shelf
I've killed my love and my pride, now I'll kill myself
I've murdered all the fucking love that I felt

Try to ignore the pain

Try to ignore the pain
We'll never kiss again, we'll never kiss again
Trying to hide my shame
I tell her it's alright; it's just a bad night
Try to ignore the pain
We'll never kiss again, we'll never kiss again
Trying to hide my shame
I tell her it's alright; it's just a bad night

My love, my mind played tricks on me
My eyes can't believe what they see
My love, my love, don't make a sound
My eyes, they say you're dead on the ground

Try to ignore the pain
We'll never kiss again, we'll never kiss again
Trying to hide my shame
I'll never see you again, 'cause I'm a very bad man

4. Pale Eyes

God above frowning down on me
As I try to hide her body where no one else can see
Down in the basement, where no one will know
But they can tell from the sorrow I show
Stitch a motherfucking mask on my face
And rid myself from the setting where this all took place
My love's supposed to be with me forever
But I can't even remember all the skin that I've severed

Pale eyes solemnly staring at me
Pale skin, turning green
Blood dried to the sides of her lips
Dependent lividity setting in on her hips
I can't live my life
With her's lost in the basement
I can't use my eyes
After what they've seen

"Turn around", what's that sound, who is watching me?
I'll be protected by the devil watching over me
All the guilt setting in, with an empty brain
The lifelessness in her eyes will drive me insane

Hell below has a spot for me
For my kill, for my penance and my apathy
Heaven above will reject my plea
For forgiveness and sanity

"Turn around", what's that sound, who is watching me?
I'll be protected by the devil watching over me
All the guilt setting in, with an empty brain
The lifelessness in her eyes, I want to feel her pain

It's really happening; here's your eternal bed
It's really happening; my love, now rest your head
It's really happening; here's your eternal bed
It's really happening; forever fucking with my head

"My knees become weak as I fall to the floor
My acquiescence of finally putting her body to rest
Has left me in utter turmoil
Nobody is watching me, nobody is after me
The only two presences in this room is myself and my guilt
What would have been three has exited the room hastily
Her soul has been disconnected from her body
Much like my sanity"

5. Sleep

[feat. Brian Wille of Currents]

Lie down with me one more time
I'm not okay and I'm not fine
I miss the feel of your body on mine
I miss my hands running down your spine

Love has fooled me again
And this time it's far worse than it's ever been
Four hours feel like years
Red eyes, soaked in tears
With red eyes I swallow my pride
I kiss you softly goodbye

Laid with you once, now I'll lay you to rest
The best I can in your bloody white dress
I never pictured this in my head
I see the white as it fades into red
I see you lying, so I rest my head
Upon your body that's cold and dead

Too blind to see through what would happen next
Too distracted by the fix to understand the debt
Oh my God, I'm my own disaster
Breathing in, choking on the pain that I've studied in length
But I never thought I'd feel its sting
There's no hiding my sins
No vision to peace and death
There's no holding this in
Eternal regret

Laid with you once now I'll lay you to rest
The best I can in your bloody white dress
I never pictured this in my head
I see the white as it fades into red
I see you lying, so I rest my head
Upon your body that's cold and dead

My hands, they tremble as they wipe off the blood
That has dried to the surface of your cold white flesh
I want to close my eyes and put you to rest
But the guilt that's on my conscience is stained all over your dress
Withdraw my misery
From all the pain and sorrow all of this is causing me
I won't forget you

I loved you once and I love you still
I always have and I always will
Laid with you once now I'll rest my head
Upon the surface of where you have bled
I loved you once and I love you still
I always have and I always will
Laid with you once now I'll rest my head
Upon your body that's cold and dead

Laid with you once now I'll lay you to rest
The best I can in your bloody white dress
I never pictured this in my head
I see the white as it fades into red
I see you lying, so I rest my head
Upon your body that's cold and dead
Upon your body that's cold and dead

6. White Lady

It was a dark, cold night when I saw her face
I swear to God, I thought she'd left this place
She had a death wish from the moment she was born
But I see her right in front of me and now I'm torn
She's not like I remember at all
The way she carries herself; I've never felt so small
I notice now, she starts to sway left to right
Just like the way she left the fucking world that night

What am I supposed to do
When I see a ghost in front of me? I guess it's true
That I'm just fucked up in the head
'Cause I see in front of me someone that's supposed to be dead
I see in front of me
Somebody that's supposed to be dead

Then I fell the cold in my head as it suffocates
Peripherals are blurred and my pupils dilate
My lungs constricted and my knees are weak
I feel a morbid presence as it touches my cheek

White Lady, please spare me
Let the light in my eyes leave swiftly
Oh spirit, I feel it
For the love of fucking God, release it
Feel something, feel something
I try to scream but instead, there's nothing
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I have to let you go

7. Don't Look Down

Do you believe in love that has died?
She beckons me, but what do I find?

"Jump, my love, I swear that you'll fly
Meet me at the top of the sky
Jump, my darling, don't look down
You're a long way from the ground"
What am I waiting for?
One more step off this ledge and I'm closer to you
What am I thinking for?
Every second on this ledge is a second without you

One step closer to sanity
One death closer to empathy
One jump closer, so no one catch me
One decision closer to altruistic demise
I'm gonna jump for the reason above
To be with the one that I love

"Altitude overwhelms me
As solitude and euphoria fill what's left of my heart
My eyes set out on the horizon
But my ears are set out on obeying the beckoning
Of the beguiling voice ringing inside of my ears
It rings until I cannot feel fear anymore"
("Jump my love")
"Jump my love, it'll all be over with one more step
("Jump my love")
No more pain, no more agony
("Jump my love")
No more living the immense guilt
That you have inflicted upon yourself
("Jump my love")
Jump my love, I swear that you'll die"

"Jump my love, I swear that you'll fly
Meet me at the top of the sky"
Right before I fall from the edge
They pull me back from the ledge

8. Claustrophobic

Chin to my knees, wrists interlocked
I'm rocking back and forth, I'm trapped in my thoughts
They hit me just like the cognizance
Of how I killed my lover and I have no defence
Chin to my knees, wrists interlocked
I'm rocking back and forth, I'm trapped in my thoughts

Lurking like a venomous snake, they grasp onto my throat
Somehow with bloodshot eyes, I feel like I've been left afloat
So someone fix me, make me new with clay and mud
Anti-tremor medication surging through my blood
Claustrophobic, I am so sick
I have manic depressive symptoms of a schizophrenic
Need a medic, I'm emphatic
Of how I need to rid this memory from my head
Claustrophobic, I am so sick
I have manic depressive symptoms of a schizophrenic
Need a medic, I'm emphatic
Of how I need to rid this memory from my head

The pain and hatred
Will always be something
I remember forever
And ever and after

Everybody's screaming, they're sounding the alarms
They take away sharp objects so I can't cut my arms
They tell me that I'm impulsive 'cause I'm a fucking mess
I shut my eyes and picture her body in that bloody dress
"Are you okay?" What do you say?
"Thank you, doctor, for the pills that you gave me today"
Voices like the walls, in my head, in the halls
The doctors and delusions, I can't even think at all

The pain and hatred
Will always be something I

The pain and hatred
Will always be something
I remember forever
And ever and after

Voices like the walls, in my head, in the halls
The doctors and delusions, I can't even think at all
They're closing in on me now and I can't breathe
I want to be alone but they'll never, ever leave
Voices like the walls, in my head, in the halls
The doctors and delusions, I can't even think at all
They're closing in on me now and I can't fucking breathe
I want to be alone but they'll never, ever leave

9. Dissociative

Free me from the dark in my head
'Cause it's preventing me from seeing red
I can't tell who I am anymore
Somebody tell me 'cause I'm not so sure
Emptiness is the victim of pain
Killing me loudly like the sorrow and pain
I'm feeling darkness, I'm feeling death
I taste the blood from our last kiss on my breath

Was it the pain in my eyes
That lead me to this misery?
Was it the look of your death
From your head down to your feet?
Or was it something I did
That made me regret the life that I've lived?
And tell me, please, do you hate me too?
Do you hate me for the things that I do?

I see a face in the distance, of who I'm trying to be
It was the lust of a vixen that took control over me
And now I feel all the blackness, it washes all over me
See the light in the darkness, of who I'm not supposed to be

Fuck
Thank you, mother, for the pain that you inflicted
For hiding all my sanity and making me a victim
I've tried it all before but it doesn't seem to help
The fact that I'm alone makes me hate my fucking self

I see a face in the distance, of who I'm trying to be
It was the lust of a vixen that took control over me
And now I feel all the blackness, it washes all over me
See the light in the darkness, of who I'm not supposed to

How could she let me bear this fucking disease?
How could she be so suffocating?
I feel her presence, it lingers within
It dwells inside me, closer than I've ever been

"My mind cannot even begin to fathom the abhorrent information
That was disclosed this dreadful night
My lover is not my lover and therefore I am not myself
My sanity is elsewhere, my hope is failing
And the trust of my own kin is non-existent
Why I was not debriefed on this deception
Is beyond my wildest imagination
I throw myself to the mercy of fate
Live or die, it is no longer my choice"

10. Mother

Forsaken, I'm broken
My desire to take away these demons in my mind
I'm calling for your name
But I can only catch a silhouette of your smile
I've told you many times before
I've always had the answers for
The pain and suffering
The lies you told, the pain I'm in
I told you I would take you there
Away from all your frights and fears
Forget your misery
But the seasons change so rapidly

I'm taking one last look
At your picture, slowly fading in the fire
I'm staring at your name
But there's a silence that looms inside of me, at your grave
It's like I just forgot to breathe
It sucks the life right out of me
I've lost before but now I'm sure
You aren't the girl I thought you were
Two years have passed and all I see
Your shadow always haunting me
Forget my misery
'Cause my feelings change so rapidly

I've contemplated this before
You took my hand and said, "No more"
You took my eyes so I can't see
You filled my lungs, so now I breathe
The dust and death beside your grave
As if it wasn't enough to save
Your life so many times

I've contemplated this before
You took my hand and said, "No more"
You took my eyes so I can't see
You filled my lungs, so now I breathe
The dust and death beside your grave
As if it wasn't enough to save
Your life so many times
So you stabbed me in the back and I had to watch you die

11. Crux

I wake up and I'm sitting upon
The edge of a chair with no light to shine
My eyes adjust to the darkness and feel for a sign
My arms are locked in close and I can't feel a thing
I clench my jaw till my face starts to sting
"Decisions, decisions, you've got one more to make
Just one more life for you to selfishly take"
I'm just an empty host, watch as I fall
She's just a vixen, conning me to end it all

Take me, leave me out to dry
Be my aggressor, tell me not to cry
Heaven turn me into a thrall
Give me the courage to end it all

Time begins to haunt me as I
Focus on the depths of the click
The clock hands wrap around my neck
To show me all the pain I inflict
Please tell me if you lived
Would you say that it's true?
Would you still love me as the mother
Or the lover I once knew?

She's just too real to me
She's just a fucking dream
She rests inside of my mouth
And makes me bite my tongue, the blood comes rushing out
Draining, draining, the blood drains away
Dying, dying, I'm dying today
Feeling, feeling, I'm feeling alive
Devil, devil, I give you my life

Take me, leave me out to dry
Be my aggressor, tell me not to cry
Heaven turn me into a thrall
Give me the courage to end it all
Take me, leave me out to dry
Be my aggressor, tell me not to cry
Heaven turn me into a thrall
Give me the courage to end it all

"Darkness overtakes the room
No sight, no sound, nobody
As I perspire I feel the cold chill of sweat
Slide down my body, slicing me like a frozen blade
The room, although enclosed
Gains the presence of a frigid wind nearing me
It's grim, it's deathly, it's beautiful
My tongue rests between my teeth
As I hesitate to lock my jaw shut
The frigid presence wraps around me like motherly apathy
"Clench your jaw shut, it will all be over soon
No more pain, no more agony
No more living with the immense guilt
That I have inflicted on you
Do it my son, I swear that you'll die"







BEFORE I TURN LYRICS