BEGUILER LYRICS

1. Fragile Mind

This is the start,
of week one reality hasn't hit
This is the story of how fragile
The human mind really is
I don't know where I was
Or what I was taking in
But I had a feeling
What little was left
Would soon be meaningless
It was then the weeks rolled on
It took endless bottles, and mental blocks
I remember when I still cared
I don't see that person anywhere
Pretty sure I left him dying
At the doorstep of hell
This is the start of week twelve
I fucking hate myself
And this shit will never work
It takes a lot to admit what I just did
And to really believe it
I now know
That this has made me sick
Blocking out
What I knew with poison
I feel this in my bones
My life, and my interior
Is telling me I want to die
I now know
I will always be alone when I'm at my lows
Nobody cares no time to try
Everybody has got their own
Through this exit wound in my head
The suffering will pass along
Selfishly
Through the exit wound in my head
This is the end of week fifty-two
I have became a corpse
And buried myself with no strength
This was my week to seek
Death

2. Crutch

I can't have the weight of your world
Crushing my chest I can't fucking breathe
I've been told things will get better
Not as far as I can see
This is starting to strip your world
Your self-centred sociopathic manipulative mentality
I am out of ways of coping
Done with dwelling on the past the start of tranquility
Appreciate me for nothing
Nobody should
Remember this disgusting heap
I want fucking ghosts
To keep my company
I scare the fucking hell out of myself
I disappoint you and those around me
I don't know what would fucking help me
I wish I had a .12 gauge in the mouth
And I'll slip down
To the unholy south
Where my body drops into the fate I was bound
You have literally pushed me to the point I don't give a fuck
About you or anything else
You expected a crutch
From my broken fucking legs
Any voice is dull
When I just have a voice telling me
Fucking taunting me
Striking me it says
"Kill yourself"
"You are just suffering for nothing"
"Suppress you won't
There is a reason you don't sleep"
"Kill yourself, now"
"Why the fuck are you waiting"
"What has carried you this far
Is as dead as your inevitable unfolding"
This is why I hate when people rely on me
For their own fucking happiness what about me
Where was this selflessness that you hold above me
There is no stability in a burning fucking train wreck
And all I can think is none of this will matter
When I'm dead, and done

3. Black Cloud

Breathless day by day
It gets harder to exhale
Breath by breath
I feel my lungs closer to
Closer to collapse
From distrust my chest is hollow
My world is caving in
The walls are enclosing me
When I look in the mirror, and your face is staring back at me
Those last days will forever trail me
In my dreams I will be taken back
To when I watched your final breath
Leave your chest
Sick and dying
That image is most vivid
The way out it's an ugly fucking bitch
Your life is over I've felt cold ever since
With you dead it's hard to give a shit
My privileges I honour
And that is why I'm fucking here
Despite everything I have to aspire
I can't help ruining my own life
The drop from here to hell
Is what I'll live with
Before you start stop yourself
Save it for someone else
I know that I'm not well I gave up
I'm run down this is my burden
I don't want your fucking help
I wouldn't want to know me I'd pick someone else
I don't know why my mind resonates with the worst of times
Everyday all I feel Is this burn
I wish I knew why it feels so good
Maybe I'm a narcissist
Maybe in your eyes I am selfish
Everyone relates to trauma
Some will understand better than others
When it cycles this is how it is
It's a black cloud, and everyday is piss
When you think it can't get any worse,
Oh it happens, Oh it happens
Fuck

4. Cynical

This is where
We all come to die
This clouded place in my fucking head
Saturated in my negativity
I should feel worse
For how I've been done
Everyday I hate the man it has made me become
Self-loathing that cannot be undone
On, and on, through the things that I hate the most
Worst days of my life
Now that's all I have
That is all I have
I am addicted to a life of grief
Always reminding me when things
I am addicted to misery
Always reminding me when things felt
Fucking right with my head
The fact that this is my fucking life
Makes me sick everyday
I have come to not care
I am all but a hollow shell of
Everything I was meant to be
This is my fucking life
Not a day where I feel alive
This is my fucking life
This is where my hopes and dreams
Have died
This is my day to day, and I know that it's not fucking right
This hate is my vice
This dead heart, and dead soul
Have me entirely
Addicted to a life of grief
Always reminding me when things
I am addicted to misery
Always reminding me when things felt
Fucking right with my head
On, and on, through the things that I hate the most
And now they are all I have
The lowest point of one's life
The lowest







BEGUILER LYRICS