BEING AS AN OCEAN LYRICS

1. Mediocre Shakespeare

How did I let this happen?
Let myself slip back into the role of victim
Thought I'd left that all "way-back-when."
While forgetting Grace, I increased my own tragedy.

Fallen back into the "how-could-this-have-happened-to-me's."
Like some melancholy play
That no one paid to see,
I'm directing on anyway.

It seems we all have this sickness.
A misconception, if you will.
That once we've triumphed over something.
It lays in the dust, eternal, never to breathe again,
But that's not the way this works
Reflections of what haunt us
Will take on new forms in the end.
The likes of which we'd not yet seen,
How quickly our hearts fill with dread
Yeah, it rains on the righteous as well as the wicked
But some afflictions can feel like death

I've fallen back into the "how-could-this-have-happened-to-me's."
Like some melancholy play
That no one paid to see
I'm directing on anyway

We either fight or flee
Which one's it gonna be?
Realize it's an old demon in a new disguise
I hope you stand up tall to face him
Pray you have the strength to look him in his eyes
Scream loud in proclamation
"I've seen your kind before
G-d, I let the signs fly right on by
Waited till my spirit was laid low
But now my eyes are open wide
This time I see right through your lies
You've tried to put me in the ground before
Extinguish my light
I've got the scars to show for it
But what was once a reminder of death is now an affirmation of life
Because I took the worst you threw at me and, damn it, I survived.
So get behind me, devil
I refuse to let myself be bound
I won't adhere to mental slavery
Even while your torments abound
Depart from me!"

I swear there's a strength inside you
A faint whisper calling you to be brave
And the next time it seems the darkest
Like you couldn't possibly be saved
Stripped of all comfort and weak
I hope you face your adversary
And find you're stronger than you think

2. Death's Great Black Wing Scrapes The Air

We shout up at the sky
Until our mouths are bloody and dry
Screaming out at a god that seems to be blind
To the suffering of us here below; those pushed aside
Look around and witness the weight of this darkness
I can assure you that ignorance is not bliss
And simply because we've adorned our eyes with such arrogance
Does not mean the unspeakable will cease
Wicked men hoarding necessities
While their fellow men die of sickness and disease

Our children are still starving
Doubled over in pain from the grumbling
Dying loved ones wither and fade
The person we knew stripped away
(All we love will fade
All we love is stripped away)
Men killing their dearest in a fit of rage
Instead of putting the past behind, turning a new page
Mothers drown their babies in their sleep
As a reprieve cause they don't know the next time they'll eat

We still defile and abuse the innocent
Like items to be sold or owned
Slavery and prostitution is no place for a nine year old

So rage, cry out at the angry sky
Let the emotion fall from your eyes
I tell you the truth
YHWH rages with you
He hears your frantic pleas
Believe me what I say, "He is not some distant thing!"
If you're quiet for awhile, you might just hear Him breathe
He's stood at the bedside of the lowly
Shoulders heaving, His head in His hands
Grieving with a Father's heart, come to retrieve another wayward lamb
It's up to us to hold each others' dignity
Recognize we've chosen the wrong enemy
Hate, ignorance, and inhumanity are what we should be battling
Now's the time for knowledge
Now's the time for Truth
Humanity has already suffered so much abuse
We must take responsibility, and do away with apathy
Unlearn society's teachings
To be blind and selfish
Because what you must learn
Is that the problem is us

3. L'exquisite Douleur

Well I can't get too close without wanting all of you
So I'll settle right into this back seat
But to be honest, I'm not sure if I can take the solitude
It's been a long time running
Since I sighted my first love
And this mountainside's only getting steeper
My breath's burning in my lungs
I wonder when I'm gonna catch a break
or at least be able to breathe easier
This drive is telling me to be all that I can't for her
You're not holding up your end of the bargain,
but I'll continue to hold up mine
'Cause I've always been a betting man
And I'm dying for you to prove me right
I see the potential you have inside
Maybe that's why I've continued to fight
You just can't see all that you are to me
So I'll just have to learn to be alright
Without you by my side
My bed seems so much colder at night
This chill doesn't seem to be going away
So I'll acquire a taste for its bite

Give these dry lips words to speak
A wandering soul, hopeful for living springs
Searching tirelessly for a well, blue and deep
From which to pull up strength, something cool to drink
There are deserts hidden deep inside you and me
Come now, sit for a while and breathe
You don't have to say a thing
Darling, your silence says everything

You're not holding up your end of the bargain,
but I'll continue to hold up mine
'Cause I've always been a betting man
And I'm just dying for you to prove me right

I just want to know your story
Learning, so I may love you complete
'Cause if we dig deep enough
There are wells hidden deep inside of you and me

You're not holding up your end of the bargain,
but I'll continue to hold up mine
'Cause I've always been a betting man
And I'm just dying for you to prove me right

4. How We Both Wondrously Perish

5. The Poets Cry For More

We are all homeless in one way or another
Whether we've lost ourselves to lust
Inflamed passions for things desired; forgotten the other
Wandering aimlessly, in love with something
that will only collect dust

Or perhaps we've been led into the wilderness
by some radiant lover, just to be left out in the cold
A distant memory, and the warmth of home
What are we then to do?
'Cause in the heat of bliss, we swore we would never love another

There was truth and dignity in that oath
Can there be any hope for their retention, in its breaking?
That even while being disavowed, we recognize humanity
We have all made mistakes,
And G-d, I've made mistakes
But my mistakes haven't made me

Oh fallen acorn, lost and alone
Can you still be kissed by fire, give up your seed
And spring up into a towering, mighty oak?

We've been led into the wilderness
by some radiant lover, just to be left in the cold
A distant memory, the warmth of home
'Cause in the heat of bliss, we swore we would never love another

We've all made mistakes, every last one of us
And just because we've told a lie, can we not still grow to be honest?

Oh fallen acorn, lost and alone
Can you still be kissed by fire, give up your seed
And spring up into a towering, mighty oak?

Thrown off kilter
None of us would have thought
We'd be who we are now
When we were still little
Eyes wide to possibility
Who could have known
That we'd witness such depravity

6. We Drag The Dead On Leashes

We've all done things that we're ashamed of
We think they make us unworthy of love
We carry regret in our demeanors
Wear it all over our faces
In our smallest actions; our greatest fears
Daring all who would come near to break the tension
To incidentally mention the demons you've been battling
Regret and shame leaking through every expression
Unable to forgive ourselves for things we could have stopped from happening

And it seems we've been thrown into an endless cycle
Of pain and suffering
But if we learn to let go
We don't have to play out this tragedy
Forgive the things you hate in yourself
So that you might be grace to someone else

We've turned to others, searching for some kind of safety
Only to get caught in someone else's insecurities
Realizing our own humanity we accept shortcomings
Simply natural side effects; fallible being
Forgive the things that you hate in yourself
So that you might be grace to someone else
And in the end, find that it's you who has been freed

Forgive the things you hate in yourself
So that you might be grace to someone else

7. Even The Dead Have Their Tasks

We pack up our gear
And we're gone again
Driven by passion, outward
Away from family and friends
But what they can't see
Is that every day I'm drowning in a sea
Of faces that I miss so desperately
With each flashing countenance
A torrent of emotion, joy, and memories
The people I've grown to love so deeply
Throughout the years
I've chosen a big family
And the weight of their absence
Has brought me more than once to tears
I wake from sleep violently
Only to witness those lives and faces
Disappear slowly behind me
(I'm drowning)
Again I'm pulled back into deep waters
Washed further away from my sisters and brothers
Am I truly living a dream
When the only time I spend with you is in my sleep?

How am I to stay the course, to remain bold
When all those my heart longs for
Remain firmly anchored at home
Am I truly living a dream
When the only time I spend with you is in my sleep?

With every "it's-been-awhile" embrace
I wish it could last an eternity
Silently praying for the courage to say
"Oh G-d, how I've missed you!
I've seen you in my sleep!
We were laughing, crying, joking
You know, the way it used to be
Back when we were younger and all that much more free
I just hope you see that nothing's changed between you and me
No matter the time we've spent apart
I know it's not always easy to show it
But please believe that I carried you in my heart
That you were with me through every mile
I could have sworn I saw your phantom standing in the aisle!"

It seems you already know what I'm thinking
And that, even after all this time
Some things still do go without saying

We savored the taste of our sweet youth
And now, with calloused hands, gather the remaining fruit
To go any farther, we must endure further pains
Skinned, mashed, and finally strained
Fermenting in the time spent away
Only to return with a fine vintage
To cheers to the health of those who stayed

8. Grace, Teach Us What We Lack

Here I stand
High strung and alone
In the court of your Lord's most forgotten son
Tell me witness, what's the difference between addiction to truth and conviction?

The difference must lie in the actions
Spread across a person's life
Did it prove to be obsession?
Compelled to condemn what they don't agree with
Endlessly driven toward the "right"
A creeping sickness afflicting the others' lives

With proclamations of derision and disgrace
Instead of offering an alternate way
You shot us in the foot before we'd even begun to race!
Conviction stands as a guiding rudder
Through this world's turbulence, storms, and thunder
The helm turns according to the movements of our hearts
(This vessel dives and darts)

See conviction wells up inside, an imprint from above
Seeks to reject injustice and not to judge
Works to fix the things that are broken
Walks in humble regard to their fellow man
And never forgets that the greatest law is Love

The difference must lie in the actions
(Was it out of Love or hate?)
Did it prove to be obsession?
(Looking at the walls you've made)

When I fell down there was no regret
Just that lack of laughter, plus my newfound debt
Be it freedom or a shortened spine,
Us broken heathens have learned to lie to ourselves

9. Mothers

A nine-year drought
Brought torrents in May
You had chosen what to call me
But were given a new name
Always the strong one
You carried on faith

Broken mother, broken father
It was your example that made Grace fully tangible
Looking at your mistakes showed me what risks to take

Working hard to make ends meet
No matter what, please know you did well by me
Forever humble and first to forgive
Treating the other as family
Never forgetting where you've been
You showed us what it means to wholly live

Adorned with quiet strength
You proved that meek doesn't have to mean weak
Learned to show Love to all, no matter title or rank
While not your own, you've helped raise me
And for the things you've shown me
I could hardly offer sufficient thanks
Even as the sickness lingers in your blood
You've carried on in hope and Love
And even though trouble surrounds all the while
You've continued to greet all with a heavenly smile

We watched your body fade
But until the end, your spirit shown bright
Something that cancer could never take away
We laid hands on and prayed
Oh G-d, how steadfast you stayed
How I wish I had possessed such faith
Now we feel the weight of your absence
And it's raised some doubt and questions
But in memorial we'll press on
Because, in the end, it's all you ever wanted for your sons
That we might realize our dreams
Live life beautifully
To truly glean all we can from our youth
Letting the rest of our lives stand as proof
There is a point to all of this
To learn to love as you

10. Natures

I have to break this cycle
For another heart, I refuse to be held liable
Seeing their eyes fill with tears
A burning in my chest, lumps form in my throat
I feel every bit of the hurt I've caused, as I realize my worst fears
I've wounded another human being
These hands were made to heal
But they've only added to the misery
G-d, our natures can be such a curse
How our lives conjoin without consent
Yet a blessing they still remain, full of purpose
To become one flesh was the intent
And from one flesh we were made
Beautiful communion, we have made







BEING AS AN OCEAN LYRICS