CAPSIZE LYRICS

1. Linger

It's hard to talk about someone I hardly know
I just want to go back to the same things I always go back to
I'm to the point of disbelief that I even question what I see
Second guessing what's right in front of me

I can look at my best friends, and I can see the hope, the strength, it's real
Leaving me wondering when all that died in me
The same passion is there, but it's in an opposite vein
I tried to feel that optimism, but who the fuck am I kidding?
I've lost so much fucking time to all the lingering
Too busy hiding from the man I'm becoming

Can't bear this fucking weight, it's much too heavy to take
I don't know what's heavier, the cloud in my head or the weight on my shoulders

I don't see shit in myself, but if you say you see something
I fucking swear I'll keep trying. I'll fucking try 'til I'm dying
That's why I cover all my skin, 'cause I'm not happy with the person within
I use the ink to remind me that forever exists

2. Pale

As time moves on, I watch the color fade
The life in my face dies with the choices that I make
It seems I'll never get this right, so just fake it for tonight
The same old "I'll be alright". The same fake "I said I'm fine"

How can I have an ounce of confidence? How can I act like I'm proud?
When I do the same things to myself, always cutting myself down
I've given life my everything, but I still fell short
And if tomorrow isn't coming my way, I won't lose sleep

I am running and hiding from the thoughts of dying
That always seem to follow me at night
'Cause if you live in the moment and not a second past
You can lie to yourself about the things you'll never ask

A thousand pages set to flame
As I fall short, I'm the only one to blame
See I'm starving for something I can't comprehend
I can't hear anything over the noise of what's unsaid

The sinking feeling inside my chest comes easier than a night of rest

I'm losing color, fucking sick to my stomach
The cold sweat is making itself at home again
The poster child example of a lack of self control
Destroying what's mine, just because it's beautiful

3. The Angst In My Veins

Have you ever felt like you were invisible?
Tell me now if you've ever felt miserable
There's never really been a clear explanation
To live your life opposite to the world's rotation
To feel like no one. "No one understands."
To feel like you could die another lonely man
I am tired of hearing that I can't
So I've come forward with this to show you where I stand
Have you ever felt hated? Have you ever felt jaded?
I can't walk with all this weighing down on me
Have you been getting high? Have you been getting wasted?
Checking out from reality, just try to breathe

I don't see an end to my pain when I still have angst in my veins
Everything comes crashing down on me, when everyone is looking down on me

I only ask a single thing, just a moment of your time
I've let you show me all that is yours, now let me show you mine
I just wanted to hear "I miss you" or "I'm happy you made it out"
I just needed to hear "I love you" "I'm proud of what you're doing now"

I've seen the cuts on your arms, I've seen the scars on your wrists
And I just want you to know, you are better than this
They don't belong. You belong here

4. Calming, Crippling

Burn. Please. Burn. That calming crippling

You can't afford to hit that peak of rage again
So just take another hit
The only thing that's calming me is fucking crippling
But I need that numbing to breathe
Another dollar down the drain, another problem paused for now
But what did it really solve? I don't want my mind involved at all
I'm losing regard for myself. I'm losing track of all my thoughts
I needed something to erase the moment, something to carry me away

I don't want to be stuck in this reality
I lie motionless, drifting in and out of the colorless walls closing in on me
I want to drift away and let my mind fade to black
Fall into nothingness, 'cause there's nothing left
No chance to catch myself when I'm heart set on escaping
Never had a chance to catch myself
I don't want to be stuck in this reality
I lie motionless, drifting in and out of the colorless walls closing in on me

Burn. Please. Burn. Breathe it out, sink and let it numb me

5. Endless Emptiness

I will no longer set myself on fire
Just to see your eyes light up.
If it's gone, I'm gone. If it's dead, I'm dead.
So say it straight and don't you fucking pretend.

I thought it would play out fine, but I'm still empty as ever.
And I've seen every sign, but I'm still searching for more.
Replay it over and over, seems I took the long road home.

It's 3AM, you're fast asleep and I'm still losing it.
Fucked myself again, another fresh start torn apart.
So far from stable, I have no grip on this situation.
'Cause I'm scared to know what it's like to stay in one place.

Take me out of this mess I've made,
Have your choice at a gun or a blade,
But I can't do this any longer.

I object to your rejection,
Tell me who the fuck do you see in that reflection?

I can't explain how I got here,
But I'm ready to face the mirror
And come to terms with what I fear.

I keep telling myself I don't want to be here anymore.
Why am I scared to death of any sort of constant?
So are the suicidal thoughts just a way to cope with the fact
That my reality is I'm dependent on your company?
Just wanted someone to talk to. Just wanted someone to listen.
Decided the fighting wasn't worth my time.
But it's hard to break this cycle when it's all I've ever known.
I close my eyes and imagine the world without me.

6. Tension

I think it's best if we give it a rest right now
'Cause I can't stand it when you're freaking out
I know it's been a long road of things not quite working out

And I'm sorry for adding another obstruction. Just see through me
And I'm sorry for adding another obstruction. I'm not worth it

I am trying and trying and trying to cope
Trying to steer clear of the smoke and the rope
But I've had it up to here and I'm not going anywhere

I walk out the front door and you scream
But I close my eyes and don't hear a thing
The tension between us is crushing me
You tried to shape a boy to love you so deep
But I'm the same angry kid you used to be
Won't let anyone tell me shit. Where do you think I got that from?

You always wanted something, something all about you
Well here it is, here it fucking is

7. Complacent

Three minutes left, the clock clicks toward your final breath
Now what's on the line is what you will say for the thousandth time
Close your eyes and wait patiently. Recall back to apathy
Love wilts and the flower dies. Forever never had a place in me

You wanted something, something for nothing
Would life be good enough to set you free?
You wanted something, something for nothing
Would death be enough to let you sleep?
You wanted something, something for nothing

It won't be getting easier
The light in me is fading dimmer
Was I good for this? Me and life seemed to never fit
Were my intentions considered in the way this played out?
Or am I just filling in another grave? Did I take enough to even the score?
Or did life just run its cycle on another number

You wanted something, something for nothing
Would life be good enough to set you free?
You wanted something, something for nothing
Would death be enough to let you sleep?
You wanted something, something for nothing

If you could see what I've seen you wouldn't question me
Don't question me. Don't you fucking question me

8. Numb

There's no way to explain, I'm just all out of patience
I just can't stop moving to prove my motivation
I'll never catch my breath while I'm still running away
You'll never really know what's stirring behind these eyes

I fell asleep angry today. You said to wait, but nothing fucking changed
I fell asleep broken again. You said to wait, but nothing fucking changed

At least I know I always tried to believe
But my hope and faith were gone when you were taken away from me
I've forgotten what it's like to feel love
I've forgotten what it's like to feel free
All I can feel is hollow and empty
All you can see is the broken shell you know as me

Abandoned here and left for dead
I'm banging on the walls of my own head
My fucking thoughts won't let me escape all my mistakes
This is my fate
Won't take no for an answer, won't turn the other cheek
Headstrong in the world with nothing to believe
Nothing to gain. Nothing to lose.
If you can hear me scream, just know it's all for you

You never explained a life so difficult
I just want to run forever, but it's not that simple

9. This Song Made Me Think Of You

I find it imperative I say something you'll cherish
In fear there's no other chance past here
I ran away to escape a routine now it seems I'll never make it back
No matter where I rest my head for the night, you're resting in my mind

When no one else would listen your attention was consistent
I just want to hold on to the best thing to fucking happen to me
Maybe this is more than you asked for, maybe this is more than I can handle
I can't remember the last time that I held on so tightly

Maybe look a little closer. You'll see the change I want you to see in me
Maybe wait a little longer. You'll see the person you're wanting me to be
Just wait for me. I can be who you want me to be
Please wait for me

Just promise me if I fall back asleep, you'll be there when my eyes open

To be clear on what I'm saying, I just hate to keep you waiting
But nothing is changing for now
For the first time in quite some time, I'm holding myself accountable
I just want to be reliable

I've let you become a part of who I am
But if you can't wait for me just know I understand

10. Spent

I'm just not meant to find home. I can't be loved by anyone
I'm still chasing the falling sun, 'cause I'm a failed son

I've never known what it's like to have an answer
Nothing to say than the scattered thoughts of yesterday
I just want to see clearly, but you're blinding me for now
I need a sense of direction to stop me from spinning out

Fading out to the point of becoming transparent
A life alone, forever on the outside
A life pushed aside and all these years of falling behind
It's only me and everything I couldn't be
Coming undone at every seam you pulled apart
You pulled apart my fucking heart

No matter where you came from, no matter where you've been
No one gives a fuck, unless you fit right in
I've found comfort in seclusion. I've found peace in solitude
I feel secure in isolation. I swear it's easy for me
So just let me be

I want to leave the last page blank in this book
I want to be the air in the backwoods
I want to leave the last page blank in this book
I want to be the life the night took





CAPSIZE LYRICS