COMPUTER MIND LYRICS

1. Diagnosis

[The Doctor (Arjen):]

Welcome, Mr. And Mrs. Hill.

Thank you for coming. Have a seat, please. As you told me, your son is indeed quite unique – but, lucky for us, there is a name for his symptoms.
Your son has "Asperger's Syndrome". Now, this is an autism-spectrum disorder, that is characterized by significant difficulties. I know, I know, it sure sounds very fancy and a bit scary maybe, but there is no need to worry, I assure you. You seem Asperger's, or "Aspies", as we sometimes call them, they do have their manual, but that definitely does not mean, they won't be able to live a perfectly happy life. Well, what you need to understand, is that the way of "processing information" I mean all kinds of information, like verbal or non-verbal communication comes in all at the same time, there is no filter. All senses and incoming information are experienced much, much more intense, and therefore sometimes hard to understand.

2. Childhood Pt. 1

[The Doctor (Arjen):]
Young Aspies have to learn how to deal with social interactions. For example, they're often afraid to look other people right into their eyes – it can overload their senses. As for everyone, childhood is the best time to learn these kind of social skills.

3. Childhood Pt. 2

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Child, can you hear me
Can you look me in the eyes
We just want to help you
Why won't you react
Why can't you look, why can't we connect?
Drag down your walls now, you don't regret it

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Mom, can't look you in the eyes now
This aren't as easy as they should be
Your yes hurt me. I don't understand why

[The Father (Damian):]
Don't worry child

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Mom, can't look you in the eyes now
They make me feel ashamed
Give me space, give me time
And I'll tear down these wall of mine

[The Father (Damian):]
Doctor, my son is someone quite unique
He seems so different
Not quite really there
Doctor, please help us
He's walking so strange
And keeps falling down
His words aren't right
They come out as gibberish
Doctor, please, Doctor, please helps us

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Mom, can't look you in the eyes now
This aren't as easy as they should be
Your yes hurt me. I don't understand why

[The Father (Damian):]
Don't Worry Child

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Mom, can't look you in the eyes now
They make me feel ashamed
Give me space, give me time
And I'll tear down these wall of mine

4. Coma

[The Father (Damian):]
He looked like he was okay
How could I've seen this coming

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Why wouldn't you listen?
When I felt there was something wrong?

[The Father (Damian):]
Worrying won't get us any further
Woman, stop blaming me

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Didn't see your son needed you?
But no, you had to go to work again

[The Father (Damian):]
Honey, don't you worry
In your heart you know I do care
I just did not see this coming

[The Mother (Marcela):]
I don't believe you
Just look at your son

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Claw my way up to reality
Try to leave this world
Try to scream
But no sound comes out of my mouth
Spiraling sown in a never-ending abyss
Your voice is my guidance – help me please

I'm still here, I hear your worried voice
Eyes are shut, but I'm hearing just fine
I'm willing to reply an tell you it's alright
But my mouth won't work this time
I hear strange sounds of my parents arguing
Why do you argue? It's not your fault
It's hard to hear you cry mom
I hope I'm not to blame

Please hear what I have to say
Everything will be okay
Just listen carefully
So maybe you can hear me whisper

Claw my way up to reality
Try to leave this world
Try to scream
But no sound comes out of my mouth
Spiraling sown in a never-ending abyss
Your voice is my guidance – help me please

Wake up!

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Look he is having a dream

[The Father (Damian):]
I wonder how he feels

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Will he hear us beg?
It's all your fault

[The Father (Damian):]
Let's make amends
Let's no fight
And pray for our son tonight

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Will we ever have him back?
I don't want to lose him

[The Father (Damian):]
We hope you hear our plea

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Just open up your ayes again
We know it's hard but you are strong

[The Father (Damian):]

[The Mother (Marcela):]

[The Son (Wilmer):]
I can hear you voices
Pulling me out of this hole
I try to swing to the surface
And see the light again

Claw my way up to reality
Try to leave this world
Try to scream
But no sound comes out of my mouth
Spiraling sown in a never-ending abyss
Your voice is my guidance – help me please

5. Education

[The Son (Wilmer):]
I sit alone in my school
Wall are up, my head is down

[The Father (Damian):]
Open up to the world
Let your guard down
You need to get out of your shell

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Will they ever let me be?
I thing I'm just like all of them
Somehow, I don't seem to fit
I'm alone in my world

Hard things are easy, whereas
Easy things are hard
Good things come to an end
But also have a start
Normal does not come to mind
Your "normal" is not mine
School is a nightmare
But in the end I'll be fine

School's out for me
But it's only one o'clock
My body just won't let me stay

[The Father (Damian):]
Handle things your own way
Let them laugh now
The results is always just the same

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Forced by my health
I can't walk but I have to run

[The Father (Damian):]
Repetition is key

[The Son (Wilmer):]
These things won't disappear
I will have to handle it
These are the tales of a "special-ed kid"

Hard things are easy, whereas
Easy things are hard
Good things come to an end
But also have a start
Normal does not come to mind
Your "normal" is not mine
School is a nightmare
But in the end I'll be fine

[The Father (Damian):]
Open up your eyes
There are friends to find

[The Son (Wilmer):]
People are getting closer, it won't be long now

[The Father (Damian):]
Lift up your head
and open up your mouth

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Why talk if I have nothing to say

[The Father (Damian):]
Because you can't keep doing this

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Let's give it a go and walk down a new road

[The Father (Damian):]
Don't let sickness hold you down

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Hard things are easy, whereas
Easy things are hard
Good things come to an end
But also have a start
Normal does not come to mind
Your "normal" is not mine
School is a nightmare
But in the end I'll be fine

Make hard things harder and
Easy things easier
Good things come to an end
But also have a start
Normal does not come to mind
But hey, I don't mind
Mistakes are to learn
A new way of life I will find

6. Friendship Pt. 1

[The Doctor (Arjen):]
Making friends can be very difficult for Aspies. For many, social behavior is an unknown area. Finding a good balance between giving and taking is very, very important in building friendships. Support, practice, and building up their self-esteem are the keys to success.

7. Friendship Pt. 2

[The Son (Wilmer):]
All these kids I see running 'round every day
Find no connection with them, somehow

[The Mother (Marcela):]
You may be a little different than the others
But don't let that affect you

[The Son (Wilmer):]
It seems that they don't like me
That I'm different in some way

[The Mother (Marcela):]
I can see you struggling, son
But don't worry – tomorrow will be another day

[The Father (Damian):]
Giving and taking, that is the clue if it only could be clearer to you

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Giving and taking, that's what I do
I've finally found a friend that is true

[The Father (Damian):]
Giving and taking, a hard thing to do
Matter of time
Before you get through

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Giving and taking, for me and for you
Balance in friendship, is equal for two

Maybe if I listen carefully to what they say
I can get to know them

[The Mother (Marcela):]
He tries so hard, God. I hope he'll find a friend
I wish there were ways to help him

[The Son (Wilmer):]
I've never spoken a word with any of these kids
But I know a lot about them now

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Even though you tried so hard, that's not the way

[The Son (Wilmer):]
This way, this way I'll get some friends

[The Father (Damian):]
Giving and taking, that is the clue if it only could be clearer to you

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Giving and taking, that's what I do
I've finally found a friend that is true

[The Father (Damian):]
Giving and taking, a hard thing to do
Matter of time
Before you get through

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Giving and taking, for me and for you
Balance in friendship, is equal for two

Look mom and dad, this is my new friend
He's just like me, but also different
I still can't believe that I know what to do
Okay, bye now, were going to play outside
Woohoo!

[The Father (Damian):]
Giving and taking, that is the clue if it only could be clearer to you

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Giving and taking, that's what I do
I've finally found a friend that is true

[The Father (Damian):]
Giving and taking, a hard thing to do
Matter of time
Before you get through

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Giving and taking, for me and for you
Balance in friendship, is equal for two

8. Relationship Pt. 1

[The Doctor (Arjen):]
Having a relationship can be very difficult for Aspies. They often experience fear when thy physically touch other people for the first time. Besides, you could say that Aspies are mostly blind to emotion – it is very hard for them to show and to understand emotions.

9. Relationship Pt. 2

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Tension is running through me
There is this girl I like

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
A warm feeling in my body
There is this boy I like

[The Son (Wilmer):]
I want to hold her hand
I'm too shy?

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Does he like me or not?
I don't really understand his signals
Maybe he is just too shy

[The Son (Wilmer):]
It's like I'm running into a wall
And I'm scared to touch her

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Just give it a go
Let us walk down this road

[The Son (Wilmer):]
What if I can't?

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Just take my hand
I'll understand
I'll never let you go

[The Son (Wilmer):]
What if I get denied?
Will she give me a chance?
I'll give I ta go
Let us walk down this road

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Are we going to fast?
Am I making a mistake?

[The Son (Wilmer):]
It happen in a second
A roller-coaster ride

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
It seems to be alright

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Still the question is in mind
Does she really fell the same?

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
The more I see him the more I know
And it feel so good

[The Son (Wilmer):]
There is nothing I want more

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Just give it a go
Let us walk down this road

[The Son (Wilmer):]
What if I can't?

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Just take my hand
I'll understand
I'll never let you go

[The Son (Wilmer):]
What if I get denied?
Will she give me a chance?
I'll give it a go
Let us walk down this road

Am I making a mistake?
Or is this the right way?
I'm nervous as hell
I'll just empty in my mind
"Do you want to be my girl?"
Now there's no way back
But wait, there is a smile, I guess

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
I thought you'd never ask

10. Blind to Emotion

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
The look in your eyes is different
Are you afraid?

[The Son (Wilmer):]
It's hard to explain
But it's the way I feel right now

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Tell me what it is
So that I can help you

[The Son (Wilmer):]
You don't understand
This won't last long

Suddenly everything becomes uncertain
All there is, is doubt and fear
I don't understand
The feelings you feel inside
You'll never understand me
And it drives me crazy
Drives me crazy

I can't read your face
What are you thinking?
Do you even truly like me?

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Let me please tell you
As many times as you need me to
That I truly like you the way you are
And just believe me

[The Son (Wilmer):]
I'm scared and confused
Paranoia is catching up

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Don't overthink it and follow your heart
Just follow your heart

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Suddenly everything becomes uncertain
All there is, is doubt and fear
I don't understand
The feelings you feel inside
You'll never understand me
And it drives me crazy
Drives me crazy

I don't understand
The feelings you feel inside
You'll never understand me
And it drives me crazy

Suddenly everything becomes uncertain
All there is, is doubt and fear
I don't understand
The feelings you feel inside
You'll never understand me
And it drives me crazy
Drives me crazy

11. Little Box

[The Son (Wilmer):]
I have a box, I want to tell you about
It's this place in my head
Where I keep my secrets
Made from rotten wood
It holds stains
Of blood splattered all over
It describes my life, a gospel
And the chapter and verse
Preached to me

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Some of us fools just not admit

[The Son (Wilmer):]
All of them committed horrors
To create themselves

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Forgotten fears
That belong to the past

[The Son (Wilmer):]
If only they could have stayed there
And wither away

I try not to ever open the box
When I do. I'm forced to see
All those faces that look like me
Busting out sounds no one can hear
They don't move right
They distort
Over the noises they create
Inside their minds

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Some of us fools just not admit

[The Son (Wilmer):]
All of them committed horrors
To create themselves

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Forgotten fears
That belong to the past

[The Son (Wilmer):]
If only they could have stayed there
And wither away

Their eyes widened in terror
Afraid of light and impulses
They are images of my past
Parts of my personality I killed
To become the person I am today

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Why would you hurt yourself?
When it's so clear?

[The Son (Wilmer):]
The horrors will just disappear

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Screaming and scraping
You're down on the floor

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Please stop. I can't take it anymore

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Why would you hurt yourself?
When it's so clear?

[The Son (Wilmer):]
The horrors will just disappear

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Screaming and scraping
You're down on the floor

[The Son (Wilmer):]
I'll close the door
In my little box

12. Divorce

[The Mother (Marcela):]
I just want to get out
Of this nightmare
Thoughts running
Through my mind
It just can't stay like this
Maybe UI just have to give in
It is breaking my heart
Everything that we've build up
Feels wrong and scares me
I just want to get out
Of this nightmare
It's haunting me
I never felt so insecure
This is it, I am leaving

[The Father (Damian):]
Suddenly everything we had
Is ripped away from me
You left me without reason
If only I knew why
What have I done wrong?
I just can't understand
I thought we were happy

You make me want to scream
But I can't show my pain

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Everything we've built up
Never felt right for me

[The Father (Damian):]
Can't you see what you've done
Left me in an empty house

[The Mother (Marcela):]
(You never were there for me)

[The Father (Damian):]
Filled with memories
This changed my world forever

A never ending tragedy
I can't believe it
She's gone forever
I won't have her back
There's nothing I can do
Where did it go wrong?
I fell so powerless
And how will I ever
Deal with this?
I've never felt so desperate
Anger it rages
Anger, anger it rages
Inside my heart

[The Mother (Marcela):]
You just don't understand
What I have gone through
You weren't there for me
When I needed you the most
This is not fault
For me it ain't easy
There's just nothing left to do

[The Father (Damian):]
If you only had told me!

You make me want to scream
But I can't show my pain

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Everything we've built up
Never felt right for me

[The Father (Damian):]
Can't you see what you've done
Left me in an empty house

[The Mother (Marcela):]
(You never were there for me)

[The Father (Damian):]
Filled with memories
This changed my world forever

Now you've made me scream!
You've caused me
All this pain

[The Mother (Marcela):]
All these things you've done
And you didn't see a thing!

[The Father (Damian):]
You'll never find
Someone like me
I loved you
And cared for you

[The Mother (Marcela):]
(You were never there for me!)

[The Father (Damian):]
This endless tragedy

[The Mother (Marcela):]
You are a terrible gather
I hope our kids won't resemble you
You just don't understand my fear
You changed my world

[The Father (Damian):]
You ran away
You ran away
You ran away

[The Mother (Marcela):]
This changed my world
This changed my world
This changed my world

[The Father (Damian):]
You changed my world

[The Mother (Marcela):]
This changed my world

[The Father (Damian):]
Changed my world

[The Mother (Marcela):]
Forever
Stop!

13. A Gift Disguised as a Dilemma Pt. 1

[The Doctor (Arjen):]
Just like all other people Aspies can make the decision to work on their abilities, to turn their weakness into a gift. Often Aspies are very, very intellectual, that is something they can use in their advantage, of course. You should know that this does require a great amount of willpower. But of course, that doesn't mean it's impossible

14. A Gift Disguised as a Dilemma Pt. 2

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
You're always locked up
Alone in your room

[The Son (Wilmer):]
I feel comfortable alone
So a loner I will stay
I don't fear change as you might think
I prefer that change comes from me

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Where words fail the music speaks

[The Father (Damian):]
You may be different from
The other but...

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Write melody hear changes
Beautiful as life

[The Father (Damian):]
I'm glad you've found your way

[The Son (Wilmer):]
While you see a dilemma I see a gift
Greater than your eyes can see

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
What's going on there
Inside of your head?

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Fighting to keep my head above the water
To find the answers that explain
The rhythm pounding in my head
The melodies flowing through my brain

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Where words fail the music speaks

[The Father (Damian):]
You may be different from
The other but...

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Write melody hear changes
Beautiful as life

[The Father (Damian):]
I'm glad you've found your way

[The Son (Wilmer):]
While you see a dilemma I see a gift
Greater than your eyes can see

Locked in my room I shine
Using these unknown talents of mine

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Why don't you even try?

[The Son (Wilmer):]
But why does it make me less

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Yet you're stumbling down
This long and winding road

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Push myself everyday

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Your mind cannot just "Let go"

[The Son (Wilmer):]
This gift is no for everyone

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Give up your obsessions

[The Son (Wilmer):]
Time to switch the paradigm
Everything's got two sides
All the negatives are gone

[The Girlfriend (Marjan):]
Just open up your eyes

15. A Gift Disguised as a Dilemma Pt. 3

[Instrumental]








COMPUTER MIND LYRICS