CONVEYER LYRICS

1. Shining

I’ve grown far too acquainted to being disappointed.
And I’m still not sure how I feel anymore.
So void of emotion, I’m not sure on where I stand.
Helpless and thirsty for peace.
Never wanting what I need.
It has taken me this long.
To admit that I am wrong.

You make me feel like myself.
When everything fades to black.
You pull me out of this hell.
You bring the color back.

The worst kind of self-deprecation.
Almost at my end, internalized contempt.
Let my sighs give way to this song of Your strength.
Repeating to myself that You have a plan for me.
Broken world.
The life we’re willing to face.
Open heart.
A risk we’re willing to take.

You make me feel like myself.
When everything fades to black.
You pull me out of this hell.
You bring the color back.

2. Haven

This is my aberration from the world I've come to know
Opposed to all that hinders the freedom of my soul
Faithless in a future disregarding my conviction
Remove me from the mindset of man

I hope I'm not just counting down the days
Until I relapse and forget to relate
There's got to be more than what we're all conditioned to expect
From this self-centered world of hate and regret, pain and neglect
I'm trying my best

I've had a change of heart
You have captivated this dead man
I will sing praises to show them
A chorus carried up on high

Ignoring importance, ignoring the critical
Existential urgency
Ignoring our purpose, ignoring the vital
Bled dry by apathy

Avoiding moral imperative
Death without life, an end with no means
A population of selfish men who have no one to blame but themselves
The world is plain and simple; depravity of the heart
Living in a constant spiral of moral disregard
You will be my Haven for the rest of my days
Refine me from my self-centered ways

I've had a change of heart
You have captivated this dead man
I will sing praises to show them
A chorus carried up on high

3. Nothing

I'll never be good enough.
I'll just hang my head as smiles grace your faces like you understand.
But you don't know all the struggles that I face;
all the burdens on my plate; all the joy that's been erased.

I've never felt so separated, disconnected, and so hated.
I feel nothing from the things that surround me,
so what does it matter if I give nothing back?

I don't feel anything.
Help me feel anything; anything at all.
What do You see in me?
I don't see anything.
What do You see in me?
Was I worth the cost?

I know how it goes, "Your debt's paid in full".
But how can I hold on when I sink down this low?
I can't bear the weight of all my mistakes.
Can You take them from me or am I too late?

God, I need some sympathy.
I need some direction in front of me.
A guiding light; a flicker of hope to take me back to the life I know.
(I know)
God, I need You now.

4. Waste

We can’t change the outcome, the eventual end to everything we know.
Powerless to stop the ebb and flow of the hardened rains we gathered.
Humankind will reap what we have sewn.
The depressing waltz we all live by, our pallid history.
Will result in what we’ve paid for; The wages of humanity.
At the end of the line, bodies give up souls.
Running out of time. This is coming to a close.
Curtains close at the end of the road.
Sins unatoned by the Love we didn’t know.

Give me the world for what it is.
Or nothing at all.
Unsheltered from the awful truth.
We don’t know what we think we do.

The minds of foolish men closed up behind our narrow heads.
Assuming we know everything there is.
Never questioning the reason we exist.
We’ll never give up our swinging at the wind.
Building up our altar to tear it down again.
Open your eyes and disconnect your mind.
From the powers who profit from feeding you these lies.

Give me the world for what it is.
Or nothing at all.
Unsheltered from the awful truth.
We don’t know what we think we do.

This world is wasting away.
And it could happen today.

This world is wasting away.
And it will happen.

5. Cage

I just want you to know.
That being your son has been a blessing at most.
That you’re made to carry His love.
How proud I am of you for not giving up.
I pray every day (I pray every day) that God heals your pain.
And you know He doesn’t want you to fade away in that cage.

I remember the times you told me about Christ.
How He painted the skies, how He gave us new life.
And I hope every night, when you close your eyes;
You remember that He stays the same, that your only hope is in His face.
That Dad loved a woman with grace.
That I take you with me to the grave.
You’ll be home with us soon.
You’ve just got to believe.
That you’ve got what it takes.
He’s the proof that you need.

6. Eulogy

I made my choice a long time ago
My purpose set in stone
Pardoned and cleared, no longer adhering to the grave
Cut off from the atrocities I've made
To separate myself from a world to which I can't relate
Souls segregated from Your sustainment
We all deserve to die alone
Free me from the spirit of malignancy, from the big nothing
The human condition that I know

With the clock closing out on existence, my downfall will be my resistance
We all deserve to die, but I don't want to fade away
Living behind this mask I've made has only left me bound in chains

Will You please carry me across the void?
Can You fill this hole inside my heart?
This is a dead-end crossing without Your voice
I've heard Your calling and I've made my own choice
The gaping nothing has my soul in a vice
Can You take this death from me and then replace it with life?

There's nothing good here left for me on this earth
But a six-by-three, six feet down in the dirt
The longer I'm here, the light fades away
And as far as I am concerned, the worms can eat today

End my life, I'll give up the ghost
No longer bound to the fire
Send me home, I don't want to live here anymore
Where we live apart from Love, where we think that God is not enough
You can leave flowers on my grave knowing that I never wanted to stay.

7. Ruined

Lust is a liar, leaving a taste so bitter in my mouth.
That just won’t wash away.
I pray for the day the thought of us decays.
And dissolves beneath my dreams.

I’ve been culprit; everything I touch turns to disarray.
Ashamed of the pulpit I stand on today.
The love we made has lead us both astray.
I can’t help but keep losing sleep.

I’m moving on, people will change.
This always I can count on.
Doomed to repetition of inconsistency.
Chained to obligations staring back at me.
Cowering under the weight of consequences.

I shouldn’t be here, I need a second chance.
I need forgiveness, I need a second chance.
I need a way out of this mess I’ve made myself.

We’ve sinned in the dark, and now I can’t forget.
Two souls tied together, drowning in regret.
Lust left us with a hole in our hearts.
Our best intentions tore us apart.
God, I hope You’ll forgive me for treating her like this.

8. Resist | Admit

What have I done to make You feel this way?
I gave You everything I have.
You took it all away.
Do I deserve the pain I feel and this emptiness?
Am I alone? Where's my home? Are You still listening?
I can't afford to give You more.
This wasn't what I was looking for.
What will it take to make You understand?

I don't know if I can trust You.
It's getting harder just to love You.
What happened to Your so-called "perfect plan?"

Farther and farther away.
I find myself falling apart.
Deeper and deeper I sink.
Reaching for You, I'm reaching for You.

Carry me.
Bring me peace.

Asking questions still unanswered.
Please, oh God, give me a sign.
I feel as though I'm falling faster, carrying what isn't mine.
The questions asked have all been answered.
The blame I placed became my hell.
Left with nothing at the bottom of the hole I dug myself.
I blame myself.

Undeserving. Ungrateful. (Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.)

Please forgive me for all that I've done.
I'm defeated; a shameful son.
I have nothing to offer You.
I'm on my knees in front of You.
Take my life.
Have it all.
Just give me grace and hear my call.
I'm sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.

9. Daughter

I hate feeling so alone, I hate feeling,
I hate feeling like I don’t have a home.

You came and went and took a piece of me.
When all I ever wanted was to rest in peace.
Being left alone, having room to breathe.
Exhausted and waiting for my turn to speak.

I need to get this off my chest.
I need to gain some self-respect.
I need to listen to my friends.
I need to learn to love like Him.

This weight on my conscience has left me self-conscious.
I don’t want to go through this again.

I just want to get used to the silence.
Stop acting like I’ve been dealt by a bad hand.
No more longing for her love in my bloodstream.
I swear I’ll never place my faith there again.

I’m giving this to the cross for the last time.
For some apparent peace of mind that I can’t find.
You’re still the only thing I see when I sleep.
You’re still the only thing I pray I can keep.

But now I see, you’re not a thing.
Not designed to belong to me,
to medicate my uncertainty.
You’re made to fill empty graves with her love.
Remind His daughters that His heart is enough.

I’m alright with the exile I face.
I’ll be fine as I bathe in His grace.
Drifting apart has our yearning is severed.
But when I dream we both pray together.

10. Blister

From the outside looking in.
Constant failure was the only friend I had.
Taking everything for granted.
This pity party in my head.
Without you I’m as good as dead.

Always playing victim.
Always feeling sorry for myself.
And blaming everyone else.

I teeter on this soapbox, the tilt before I fall.
My precipice of selfishness, I keep hitting a wall.

Always falling off this beaten path, I’m tired of fading away.
Trying to shed this weight, on my own.
And it isn’t working out, I’m tired of fading away.
From the grace You set in place.

On my own, sometimes I’m up.
Sometimes I’m down.

Help me not hate myself for having my doubts.
Sinking in the guilt I’m still running from.
Lost in the lies I haven’t repented of.
Memories like bullets, fired from a gun.
Cracking me open.

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve been.
Nobody knows the trouble I’ve been, but you.
This selfish masquerade I’ve been putting You through.
Nobody knows the trouble I’ve been, but you.
Nobody knows, no one but You.

11. Impatience

[feat. Cam Smith]

You’ve never been the one to blame.
That one to know that I’m at fault.
But never take it out on me.

If the two of us were both the same.
I wouldn’t know where I need to be today.
You’re the bigger picture I can’t see.

This one goes out to You.
Solitude, at least that’s what I call it.
Keeping those streets of gold in my mind.

I don’t know why, as they years they pass me by.
It gets harder just to take my time.

No one to keep me from you.
No one to stay my hand from seeking the truth.
From reaching up for the only hope I ever knew.
For every time I wasn’t honest, kind or true.

I used to think I was lucky, but I’ve realized I’m just blessed that I found some sort of home in a heart even though I lived so long in selfishness. Because I’ve learned you know my heart more than you know my routine and most nights it’s all I need to be able to fall asleep. Because I’ve learned running away from home is like finding strength in weakness, but I always come back around knowing that I can’t continue to live like this. So, thank you for your honesty. I’ve found that love has gone from just being sobering to being so refreshing. And even if pain doesn’t go away, I just thank God you decided to stay.
Because I know I have purpose when you purposely tell me you see something in me, even when I can’t see myself.

If this hasn’t been waiting in vain, I could consider this monogamy.
Living devoted and betrothed to the One.
Who believed in me and wouldn’t give up.

If the clock looks like it ticks too slow.
Even when it’s given time to grow.
I’ll know for sure that it was my own impatience.
That I’d feel better if my ego was vacant.

In closing, I’d like to thank you for her.
For every word she spoke that helped me rest assured.
That I’m not lonely, that I'm not falling away.
For every time she reminds me of You and lives up to her name.

Thank you for everything,
Thank you for having patience with me.
Thank you for reminding me that God is all that I will ever need.

Thank you for praying for me.
Thank you for giving me room to breathe.
Thank you for letting me see who I am and who I want to be.







CONVEYER LYRICS