CROTCHDUSTER LYRICS

1. True Nature Of Williams

Williams wont you wait a while
Williams wont you make us smile
No key will unlock the door
To an interdimensional dumptruck world
40 fucking tons of thundering bliss
The tip of southern hell
Ain't even hotter than this
If you want to go to williamsburgland
You gotta check with cain
Because that dog is the man

I cant believe my eyes
Its shining in the sky
I hope cain enjoys my smell
So I can get inside

Welcome to my dumptruck
Inside williamsburgland
The power seats and cold a/c
Is under cains command
Men like me who poop and pee
Inside a coffee can
If you want to get inside
Three tests you will withstand

Dig a hole and live in it
And sleep in it for 15 days
Steal a goddamn police car
And drive it in a lake
Eat a prepubescent narcoleptic
Peeled and sauted steak

2. Big Top Williams

Welcome to the bottom of my pants
Eat my asshole
Shitting out a turkey leg in france
Heres 5 dollars
I'm a nasty dirty little slut
Hey I hear ya

We're all bleeding
Here's a bagel
Vagina land

Let me fuck your pussy
Let me fuck that fuckin shit
If I had a crowbar
Id spread your ass open with it
Let me pinch your nipples
Let me smell your sweaty tits
Ill use my geographic tongue
And clean your buttcrack out with it

Smelling her big titties
Makes my monster arise
Her pussy's winking at me
Like a wet gooey eye

Vagiflap the reason for cain
The way that he looks in my eye
Mammal sauce, so pleasantly fresh
My senators vagina in the sky

3. Cain Sings The Blues

My pants is tight
And my balls is long
My o is itchin
From this camel hair thong
My legs is sweaty
And my mind is too
Skip skiffington
Is the last angry jew
My hands is hairy
And my sight is gone
Because my willy's been
Inside your mom
When I was 52 I had 3 balls
I bury living cats inside my walls

Girls are screaming
Boys are crying
Uncle teddy's fish are dying
I got gonorrhea when I
Butt fucked a dead armadillo
Add 3 eggs, one stick of butter
Beat the shit out of your brother
Noctiforinontitaty fliptoronic sliptoflappy

[Jim's insightful speech:]
So the other day, I went to go pay cash for my brand new Lexus
And the rims I ordered, they put the wrong fuckin rims on
It's like when I'm going into a restaurant to eat
I can't sit down without some son-of-a-bitch kid coming up to me
And saying "Hey! Sign this! Sign this!"
Why don't you sign my cock you little bastard
I'm trying to eat a fuckin meal here
I don't care if you buy my records
Get the fuck out of here before I punch your cock
I'm sponsored by Adidas
And what do I give a fuck if little philipino kids work for 15 cents a year to make these god damn shoes
They look great!
You put on a pair of Adidas and a brand new fuckin fur coat and you are stylin'
And let's face it, that's what this business is all about
STYLE!
I mean listen to these guitars, they sound like shit
Me and Jimmy made this up in a half an hour
You don't have to be any good to do this
Kiss my belly button from the inside

Gangleosis streaming dreams
Woke up in a box of beans
Wizards dragons demons blizzards
Stuff your rectum full of gizzards
Beavers in my ssl
I condemn them all to hell
Drinking beer out of your ass
Fuck your mom with broken glass
I hope mom will be home soon
So I can get some tasty poon
Shoots and ladders getting fatter
Puppy soup is not for me
Williamsburg upon the wall
Who says williams best of all
I'll throw liquid on your console
If I don't take my haldol

4. Let Me Into Starfish Land

The a train never stops
And I am headed for your hole
I'd be so lucky if I
Could cream in your asshole
There's so much shit that we
Could make each other do
I'd rather fuck your asshole
If that's OK with you
Here comes the honey
When I am through
But I am not done cause
Your asshole is so new
Open up wide, here comes the train
If your head was between your legs
Id love to screw your brain

Let me lick your asshole
Let me lick it clean
I'll take you all to starfish land

Let me lick your asshole
Let me lick it clean
I'll suck out all the peanuts
I'll suck out all the beans
I'll tongue fuck your rectum
I'll drive up your dirt road
I'll felch out my own semen
And spit it down your throat

I love bunnies
I love pink
I love my moms underpants
Especially when they stink
I love rainbows
I love balloons
I cried at forest gump
And disney cartoons

Boba fett, boba fett
Vader and boba fett

Lubed up mustard glove
Anal love
Traveling butt raping show
Steal a mercedes
And grab the old ladies
And grease up your o

She said that I could touch it
She said she'd let me in
I warmed her up with my middle finger
Some anal ease and gin
My wang was in her crap trap
Just about to explode
Her 30 year old stepmom
Came in and drank my load

5. Mr. Indigent Erection

Mr. indignant erection
Why must you be so brash
Lets play twister with wesson oil
And a meat cork for your ass
Have you ever felt a meat cork plunge you
Like a barium enema mass
Insufficient lubrication
Will damage your intestinal tract

Mothers not home
Lets have some fun
Make sure that daddy's away
If they ever found out
What were doing here
They'd probably think we're gay

Mr. williams home
Just leave me alone
Captain tupperware
Rip out my pubic hair
Hey there captain dan
Welcome to butter land
Melted cheese and shit
Rub my face in it

Cadillac mac tick tack
A swollen sack attack

Praying to the cottage cheese
That runs within my mind
Cottage cheese we worship
Came from the crack in your behind
Masturbate the alligator
Masturbate the alligator
Frozen pudding logged in person
Elevate the elevator
Desecrate the nipulator
Praying for the nannys
Suck my stolen eye
Revibrate the devibrator
Let me inside of your asshole
300 pounds of toys melted
Into a log of hate
Realize that your mothers boyfriend sells potatoes
To a pimp

Work your way into my asshole
Grab a shovel theres no hassle
Welcome to my dick

6. Mammal Sauce

Listen up motherfucker
I got something I need to say
If you don't use mammal sauce
You might as well be gay
I feel it running through my brain
I feel it running through my eyes
You hear the name that's calling you
It makes you hypnotized

Williams

Sliptoflappy rappy
And a carpal tunnel pudding flanker
Nabble and a stampy and a
Pigeon smelling generator
See a chitlin wafer and a
Chocolate buttered horses ass
Frabble obble abble and a
Stupid monkey chicken gas
Chinese diarrhea prison carpet
Chunky harplegig
Nopaliaseah perforated
Purple parkle pig

My mammal sauce is the best mammal sauce
Spread mammal sauce on my wang
We make mammal sauce in bill williams loft
And we eat a bucket of tang

7. Jogging In Hell

You thought it was a toothbrush
But it was a flashlight
Broke out all your teeth
In the middle of the night

When I was a boy
When I was a man
Supercalaspacteoneunifonican
Eating in a boat
Dying in a dream
Jaking in a magic land
That's made from shiny teeth
40 little girls and boys
Eating all their siblings toys
Waiting for a train inside
A russian immigration tank
Craving unpubescent narcoleptic
Peeled and sauted shrimp
I'm feeling kind of nausious
Cause your mama was a pimpy man

Now I'm a toothless shitbag
But I can see at night
I hope aliens impregnate me
With a clone of wayne newton

Who is senator williams
What has he done for me
4 hits of bubble bath
Laced and cut with cheese
Pasteurized with milk
Sedated with the danish
Cinnabun has just begun
To take over your teeth

8. Stars Ingenious Cooter (Live)

9. Crotchopus

Lets get in the van
Go to molly browns
I've been saving money for a month
If they close it down
We'll start a riot

Their damn atm charges ten dollars

Mystical vaginas are in my face
I smell the aroma of the gods
I'll give you the money
I brought with me
If you'll friction grind upon my rod

I'm done
That was like ten seconds

I got balls

(backwards stripper face)

I'd stick my hand right up her cartoon box
Too bad for her we don't have cartoon cocks
I'd like to give her a semen dip
Jessica rabbits got them cartoon tits
My dicks not hard it's just drawn that way
And we both know that the rabbits gay
I'd shoot up roger with some poison gas
So I could fuck you in your cartoon ass

Girl with a big face
I saw you at the bus stop
From a mile away
Even though it was really dark
Girl with a big face I love you more each day
Even though you're face
Is as big as a dinner plate

We hope that you enjoyed this
Crothcduster album
We hope that you like singing along
Right now we're really busy
Working on the next one
This time with help from doctor bronze







CROTCHDUSTER LYRICS