PSYCHOSTICK LYRICS

1. Metal?

Hey, do you want to metal?
I could metal.
Do you want to metal?
I'll metal if you metal.
So we're going to metal?
Yes, metal.
Then it is settled. We shall, metal.

2. Caffeine

Wahhh
Caffeine happy make me
Wahhh
Caffeine happy make me
Wahhh
Go all crazy maybe

Wahhh
Shown all aggravating
Wahhh
Solo that can make me
Wahhh
Caffeine really make me
Gugah, gugugah, gugah
Gigigigigigi

Caffeine, caffeine
Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine, caffeine
Caffeine, caffeine
Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine, caffeine
Caffeine, caffeine
Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine, caffeine
Caffeine, caffeine
Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine, caffeine

Caffeine in my coffee
Caffeine in my mountain dew
Caffeine in espresso
Caffeine in my blalululu
Caffeine, got me buzzing
Caffeine, make me go all WEEE!
Caffeine, got me wired?
Yeah.

Brew me a pot of fresh coffee
Brew me a pot of fresh coffee
Getting sleep is overrated
Gimme vente caramel latte
Gimme vente caramel latte
I am very caffeinated
Energy drinks replace water
Energy drinks replace water
Bowels feeling irritated
Cappuccino is my mother
Frappuccino is my lover
Makes me feel exhilarated

Brewing a pot of fresh coffee
Brewing a pot of fresh coffee
Feeling fatigue as I'm waiting
Feeling fatigue as I'm waiting
Eyelids begin to get heavy
Eyelids begin to get heavy
Conscious is gradually fading
Conscious is gradually fading
*coffee brewing*

Wahhh
All that caffeinating
Wahhh
Greatest operating
Wahhh
Almost sleep attaining
Wahhh

Wahhh
Caffeine, happy make me
Wahhh
Caffeine, happy make me
Wahhh
Caffeine really make me
Gugah gugugah yugugah gugugah
Yugugah gugugah yugugah gugugah
Yu gugugugugugugugugugugugugu
NUTS!

YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT!
I'll be right back,
I'm gonna go take a shower.

Hey, where ya goin? (Yeah, what the hell man?)
W-We just started to metal.

3. Shower

For all you out there
Who are dirty and weary
For all those out there
Smelling stinky and sour
For all you out there
Who are in need of cleansing
I hope you're prepared
'Cause it's time... to shower

Take off your clothes
Pick up the soap
Get in the tub
Turn on the water and check on the temperature
CURTAIN FACADE!
Pull on the knob
Water on face
This is the place to be
Time to get nice and clean
SHOWER!

[CHORUS]
Water washes all of the parts
Of you in need of a good washing
Killing bacteria buildup on your body
Leaving you feeling great
Increasing your odds that night of getting laid
When you're getting your scrub on
You can practice on your singing
Having a blast the water
That you're flinging
Making your fingers wrinkled
If you stay in too long

The water's warm and so inviting
And it's cold outside
I want to stay in here forever
Where the steam doth rise

SHOWER! Better wash behind your ears
SHOWER! Better get between your toes
SHOWER! Don't forget your belly button
IT'S SHOWER TIME YOU BITCHES!
SHOWER! Do your best to get your back
SHOWER! Let the soap run down your crack
SHOWER! Private parts need your attention
IT'S SHOWER TIME YOU BITCHES!

Get everywhere
Shampoo your hair
Rinse it all out
Cleaning is done today
Time to procrastinate
STAY IN THE SHOWER!
Another half hour
Hot water hog
Pounding on door beings
Time for the fun to end
SHOWER!

[CHORUS]

SCRUB! [x15]

[pounding on door] Hey! Hurry up in there! I've gotta go number two!

4. A Lesson In Modesty

[Jawsh:] "You know Rob, I was thinking. You know, I mean, we've done a lot of touring, sold a lot of CD's, you know, and, I really think that we need, it's really important that we remain humble, and grounded, and not let the success go to our heads, you know what I mean?"

[Rawrb:] "Yeah... Josh, you know I've been thinking about that too, and uh.. Fuck that! We're the greatest band, ever!"

5. P Is The Best Letter

P is the best letter in the whole alphabet,
because it starts the name of the greatest band ever.
The greatest band ever happens to be the one you are now listening to.

We're the greatest band ever.
GOD WE FUCKIN' RULE!

We should have like, 12 solid gold tour buses, each with a warp drive so we can tour the universe, and yachts made out of the bones of endangered species. Oh, we should have our band name carved into the moon, so that fans can always see our band name, and we should have guarddogs made out of diamonds to protect our ruby-encrusted palaces!

R is the second best letter of those mentioned,
because it starts the name of the best singer ever.
The greatest singer ever happens to be the one you are now listening to.

I'm your favorite singer, ever.
GOD I FUCKIN' RULE!

You see, I'm not just an average guy, I'm the singer from Psychostick! I shouldn't just have one chick, I should have a whole harem, and I shouldn't just have one harem, I should have 2, in every state! And each chick should be able to fly to Starbucks to get my mocha frappucino, and my chicks have Wi-Fi preinstalled! Really fast Wi-Fi!

J is a better letter than the ones that you've heard,
because it starts the names of the guys playing stringed instruments.
We are the ones that destroy your faces off, because we break it down.

Feel it...

Just kidding!

[Alex:] "Hey, let's do A. A is a good letter too, right?"

P-S-Y-C-H-O-S-T-I-C-K
P-S-Y-C-H-O-S-T-I-C-K

That's how you spell our name, get it fuckin' right, or we'll burn down your club.

6. Minimum Rage

I've been stuck
At this stupid job for far too long
And I just don't know
How much more of it I can take before I lose it

How can people that you see every day
Turn so evil when they come in and pay?
For a burger and some fries then they yell
I swear I must be in a living..

May I help you?

Tell me how you're doing on this very lovely day
Would you like to try a double bacon burger with a shake?
I can fake a smile of a kind that you've never seen
'Cause my manager is a bigger douche than you could ever be

Leave me alone I've got work to do
Leave me alone I've got work to do
Leave me alone I've got work to do
Leave me alone I've got work to do

That's when they come
And they go and they come
And then they go and they come
Then one after the other

That's when they come
And they go and they come
And then they go and they come
Then one after the other

I don't think
That I can take another day
But I have to pay
The rent or I am gonna get evicted

I don't wanna go to work but I must
Might as pay, turn away in disgust
Deal with people that just like to complain
Their sane is dead, they long to dish out..

Let me get the manager.

Tell me what's the problem, is there something I can do?
Do you have yourself a boggle here that I can help you through?
I am very sorry that we got your order wrong
If you give me just a second I can fix it in a jiffy

Moron

Leave me alone I've got work to do
Leave me alone I've got work to do
Leave me alone I've got work to do
Leave me alone I've got work to do

That's when they come
And they go and they come
And then they go and they come
Then one after the other

That's when they come
And they go and they come
And then they go and they come
Then one after the other

(Aaahhhh)

That's when they come
And they come and they come
And then they come and they come
Then one after the other

(AAAAAAHHHH)

That's when they come
And they go and they come
And then they go and they come
Then one after the other

One right after the other

And here comes another

Oh, heh, how considerate of you to come in and order five minutes before we close.
We already shut everything down, and cleaned it all up
But we'll go right ahead and fire those grills back up, just for you, champ.

No, no, it's cool.
I don't even wanna go home.
Especially not after a twelve hour shift with no lunch break
My reason for living is to serve YOU.

You know why?
Because the customers always right, right?
The customers always right.

I'll kill you!
I'll kill all you!
Hey? Where you going?
You forgot your fries!

You know what? I quit.

7. Don't Eat My Food

All day i was working
A shitty job with shitty pay
My only motivation was leftovers
From yesterday

I go home and find that
My lasagna is all gone
Your the only culprit
Now the line must be drawn

I hate you, You ate my food
I hate you, You killed my mood
I hate you, That was so rude
I hate you, Don't eat my Food!!!

Those are my taquitos
Those cupcakes belong to me
Don't you fucking eat them
Or death will find you in your sleep

That's my frozen pizza
Those are my burritos too
Don't you fucking touch them
Or you'll be eating through a tube

I hate you, You ate my food
I hate you, You killed my mood
I hate you, That was so rude
I hate you, You ate my food
I hate you, You killed my mood
I hate you, That was so rude
How would you like it if I ate all your shit?

You get what you payed for, I have no food
You get what you payed for, You ate my food
You get what you payed for, I get repaid
You get what you payed for, By eating you!!!

(Dude chill it was just a burrito)
DON'T!
EAT!
MY!
FOOD!

8. The Hunger Within

I wish I had a taco
With plenty of hot sauce
But all that I've got is a
Box of crackers

I wish I had a pizza
With mushrooms and sausage
But all that I've got is a
Jar of mayonnaise.

The fridge is so empty!
Good food is so tempting!
I've got three more days
till I get paid!

Take away my suffering
I can't go on with things this way
There's only so much that I can take
of eating ramen noodles.

I wish I had a waffle all yummy and covered with syrup and butter and
fresh strawberries

I wish I had an omlette,
the kind that you stop just to get at IHOP with some
hashbrowns and coffee.

The fridge is so empty!
Good food is so tempting!
I've got two more days
till I get paid!

Take away my suffering
I can't go on with things this way.
There's only so much that I can take
of eating dry Cheerios

(Okay there's gotta be something to eat here. Let's see. A bag of spaghetti, no tomato sauce.
A box of taco shells, no ground beef.
A box of baking soda. I cannot eat that.
Or can I?)

SPOT ME FOR LUNCH!
SPOT ME FOR LUNCH!
SPOT ME FOR LUNCH! I'll pay you back on Friday!
SPOT ME FOR LUNCH!
SPOT ME FOR LUNCH!
SPOT ME FOR LUNCH! I'll pay you back real soon!

I wish I had some ice cream
with plenty of chocolate syrup on top of it
maybe whipped cream.

Oh, man that sounds so good right now.

9. Grocery Escape Plan

The other day I went to the store to get a gallon of milk,
but then I found out that they only had

One percent, but not two percent.
One percent, but not two percent.
One percent, but not two percent.
One percent, but not two percent!

I want two percent, I got one percent.
I still got it on sale, I saved, 39 cents.

Attention shoppers, don't forget about our buy one, get one free special on hot pockets and 12 packs of Mr. Pibb.

Ahh! I've got to get to aisle 5 right now, because Mr. Pibb and hot pockets are buy one get one free.

Out of the way, old lady! Out of the way, I'm shopping.

"Ooh, look at the price on pickles!"
Out of the way, you people. Out of the way, everybody!

I've got to get bread, eggs, grapes, oltec, TP, salt, toothpaste, deodorant, chips, pees, corn, cheese, porn? Spaghettios, salt, cups, sprite, bleach, yogurt, Oreos, Jaeger, cheerios, what am I forgetting? What am I forgetting? What am I forgetting?!? Oh yeah, beer.

10. Too Many Food

11. This Is Not A Song, It's A Sandwich

I know what you're thinking
You're thinking, "This is a song"
Well I guess I'll just have to show you
Exactly where you are WRONG!

Why aren't you hearing the cheese?
Why aren't you feeling the ham?
If you don't listen you'll miss it
You don't understand
I will explain it all once
I can explain it all twice
To make it clear to your brain
Until you've taken a bite

It couldn't be a dam 'cause it doesn't have a beaver
It's not the DMV 'cause it doesn't make you wait
It couldn't be a taco 'cause it isn't very crunchy
It couldn't be an Olsen 'cause it isn't Mary-Kate
It can't be Dirty Dancing 'cause it doesn't make you vomit
It couldn't be an iron 'cause it doesn't burn your face
It couldn't be Bruce Campbell 'cause it isn't freakin' awesome
It couldn't be a keyboard 'cause it doesn't have a space... BAR!

(Be-cause)
This is not a song, it's a SANDWICH!
What would make you think otherwise?
This is not a song, it's a SANDWICH!
Now no more of your vile filthy lies

(This is a song) NO IT'S A SANDWICH!
(Uh... But, it's a song) NO IT'S A SANDWICH!

So what are you thinking?
Still think this is a song?
Do you require more proof?
Do you enjoy being wrong?

Why aren't you hearing the meat?
Why aren't you feeling the bread?
If you don't listen, you'll miss it
You're making me sad
I will explain it all once
I can explain it all twice
And then again and again
Until you've taken a bite!

It couldn't be a chick 'cause it doesn't want to marry
It can't be Windows Vista 'cause it doesn't suck enough
It couldn't be a boob 'cause it isn't very squishy
It couldn't be a beer 'cause it isn't good and stuff
It couldn't be a tub 'cause it doesn't have a ducky
It couldn't be a stoner 'cause it doesn't have a joint
It couldn't be an egg 'cause there is no Easter Bunny
It couldn't be a song 'cause it doesn't have a point

(Be-cause!)
This is not a song, it's a SANDWICH!
What would make you think otherwise?
This is not a song, it's a SANDWICH!
It's really just a hoagie in disguise

(I'm pretty sure this is a song) NO IT'S A SANDWICH!
(... Sooong!) SANDWICH!
(SONG!) SANDWICH!
(Jesus, dude, what is wrong with you?) NO IT'S A SANDWICH!

Lettuce, bacon, mayo, tomato, cheese, olives
Onions, frog, tuna, turkey, peppers, salami
Noodles, pizza, tires, CROWBARS!!!

You bought (or stole!)
This dumb CD
Now you are suffering
Driving home, working out
Or at your job
At your house, or wherever
On your iPod

12. Girl Directions

Girl directions!
Girl directions!

Ok, so this is how you get here.
You're gonna wanna take the 202... to the 101.... north.
Don't get on the 60 though because then you're totally going to be going the wrong way.

Girl directions!
Girl directions!

So, you're gonna wanna get off on Exit Coleman-Fowl, ah, er, no wait, that's at McEllo...
It's a, it's a Mc-something.
And then you make suuure that you stay to the left while you're turning right
cause you're gonna need to go left right after you turn...
oh, wait, hold on that's my other line.

GIMME THE FUCKING ADDRESS!
JUST GIMME THE FUCKING ADDRESS YOU BITCH!
GIMME THE FUCKING ADDRESS!
I'M USING A GPS!

Girl directions!
Girl directions!

Ok, I'm back
Anyways, so just keep on going straight
You're gonna pass a Taco Bell, you're gonna go up this little hill thingy...
No wait! Do you know where the Bed, Bath & Beyond is?

Girl directions!
Girl directions!

Ashley, what's the name of the street right after the Bed, Bath & Beyond? Ashley!
Ugh, ok, you know what
Just turn right after the church, jesus, place and...
Look for a house with a really big tree in the yard,
like seriously the biggest tree you've ever seen,
go past that and then it's the house with the blue sedan, family-looking car,
you can't miss it.

GIMME THE FUCKING ADDRESS!
JUST GIMME THE FUCKING ADDRESS YOU BITCH!
GIMME THE FUCKING ADDRESS!
I'M USING A GPS!

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN TURN RIGHT WHILE I'M GOING LEFT?!?
YOUR DIRECTIONS ARE SHIT!!!
YOU KNOW WHAT?!?
YOUR DIRECTIONS ARE BED, BATH & BEYOND... COMPREHENSION....FUCK!!!
AHHHH!!!

13. Orange

You're an ORANGE!
You're an ORANGE!
You're an ORANGE!
You're round and juicy and sweet
You're an ORANGE! (You're an ORANGE!)
You're an ORANGE! (You're an ORANGE!)
You're an ORANGE! (You're an ORANGE!)
You're full of vitamin C
Here in my hands it's a lovely orange
And it's round and I think it has a really yummy taste
And the skin has pores
And it's juicy sweet, and it peels,
And I gotta say I think it's kinda neat
sweet oranges
You're filled with generous amounts of supplements
like natural folate, thiamine and magnesium
that's better than the content that is found within
Your standard apple, passionfruit, honeydew, or plum
have you had Your v8 today?
(no way)
have you had Your v8 today?
(no way)
have you had Your v8 today?
(no way)
well have you had Your V8 TODAY!?
YOU'RE JUST DRINKING A PIZZA!
YOU'RE JUST DRINKING A PIZZA!
YOU'RE JUST DRINKING A PIZZA!
Tomatoes really are a fruit.
You're an ORANGE!
You're an ORANGE!
You're an ORANGE!
You're round and juicy and sweet.
You're an ORANGE! (You're an ORANGE!)
You're an ORANGE! (You're an ORANGE!)
You're an ORANGE! (You're an ORANGE!)
You're full of vitamin C.
Here in my hands it's a lovely orange
And it's orange and I think it makes a really handy snack
And it comes with seeds, or it comes without
Take a bite, hit a seed, and you'll wanna spit it out
sweet oranges
you are in Genus citrus and you come from trees
That have white flowers and sometimes reach fifty feet in height
Your pulp has tightly packed with various juice cells packed
into a wedge that tastes real good when I take a bite
have you had Your v8 today?
(no way)
have you had Your v8 today?
(no way)
have you had Your v8 today?
(no way)
well have you had Your V8 TODAY!?
You're JUST DRINKING A PIZZA!
You're JUST DRINKING A PIZZA!
You're JUST DRINKING A PIZZA!
Tomatoes really are fruit
Juice
ORANGE, ORANGE
You're an ORANGE, ORANGE, ORANGE!
You're an ORANGE, ORANGE, ORANGE!
You're an ORANGE, ORANGE, ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE, ORANGE, ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE, ORANGE, ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE, ORANGE, ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE, ORANGE, ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!
You're AN ORANGE!

14. Beer, Part 2

[*Vomit*]
[*toilet flushes*]

It's not so funny now is it?

15. Do You Want A Taco?

Do you want a taco? (taco)
Do you? (Do you) Do you?
Do you want a taco? (taco)
Do you? (Do you) Do you?

Do you find that every thought you haves about it?
Do you wake every second your without it?
Do you feel like your very souls on fire?
A burning desire!

Do you hate anyone that keeps you from it?
Would you do what it did until you got it?
Would you slay a thousand zombies?
And then you run and get one!

Do you want a taco? (taco)
Do you? (Do you) Do you?
Do you want a taco? (taco)
Do you? (Do you) Do you?

Do you feel inner peace because you hold it?
Would you fall in despair if you had dropped it?
Does it meet every need you have inside?
You feel so alive!

Do you crave all the simple pleasures of it?
Does the taste qualify in it?
Can you claim that the taste is to know the mind of God?

What can I get you?
I would like 4,000 tacos and 1 diet coke
How many tacos?
Uh, that would be 4,000
Four THOUSAND tacos and 1 diet coke?
Yes sir.

Do you consume it or does it consume
Do you consume it or does it consume
Does it consume YOU?
Do you consume it or does it consume
Do you consume it or does it consume
Does it consume?
YOU?

16. An Attempt At Something Serious

17. #1 Radio $ingle

Woah, yeah...
Woah-oh...
Woah yeah, oh woah yeah...
Woah, yeah...

Well this is the part of the song
Where I talk about emotions
And this is the part of the song
Where I sing about how I feel so cold inside

And this is where my producer told me
To say "Yeah"

This chorus is so freakin' catchy
You will never be able to get this song
Out of your head
Out of your he-ead!
For the rest of your life

Well this little verse sounded
Just like the verse you heard before
Yeah!
But if you please take note
That the lyrics are slightly different than last time

We're killin' time
Until we're at the chorus
Again

This chorus is so freakin' catchy
You will never be able to get this song
Out of your head
Out of your he-ead!
For the rest of your life

Love every night
Love every day-yah!
Love is everywhere
And it's here to stay-yah!
I will be with you
You will be with me
For all eternity

Let's sell a million albums!

Ooh!
Yeah!
Rock!

This pretty bridge has no distortion
(Drum fill!)

And here we are back at the chorus
Don't you remember the one that is
So freakin' catchy it's stuck... In your head
For the rest of your life

And once again repeat the chorus
For dramatic effect to remind you
That it will be stuck... In your head
For the rest of your life

18. Vah-Jay-Jay

Who likes vaginas?
I do, I do!
Who likes vaginas?
That would be me.

19. Die... a LOT!

[CHORUS]
DIE! Or I will kill you!
Until you die from when I killed you
And you'll have died and I'll have killed you
And you'll be die and I'll be kill you!

People (DIE!)
Flowers (DIE!)
Seasons (DIE!)
Elders (DIE!)
Species (DIE!)
Planets (DIE!)
Love (DIE!)
A LOT!

Puppies (DIE!)
Squirrels (DIE!)
Engines (DIE!)
Pandas (DIE!)
Cookies (DIE!)
Monkeys (DIE!)
Death (DIE!)
A LOT!

[CHORUS]

Kitties (DIE!)
Bunnies (DIE!)
Cell phones (DIE!)
Gerbils (DIE!)
Waffles (DIE!)
Trees... (grow?)
NO! DIE A LOT!

Friends (DIE!)
Happy (DIE!)
Hugs (DIE!)
Unicorns (DIE!)
Santa (DIE!)
Zombies (live?)
You (DIE!)
A LOT!

You! Me! Him! Her!
Everyone's gonna die!
Us! Them! They!
Come on, everybody DIE!

(Tell me dontcha wanna die?)
Come on, everybody DIE!
(Tell me dontcha wanna die?)
Come on, everybody DIE!
(Tell me dontcha wanna die?)
Come on, everybody DIE!

Die until you're dead!
And now we die!
Josh, DIE!
Jake, DIE!
Jimmy, DIE!
Alex, DIE!
Me, DIE! A lot

20. You've Got Mail Enhancement

If you should ever decide you want to start a career in internet marketing
If you engage in spam, there's something you should know
That I will hunt you down
And I'll destroy you!
Burn in hell!

I get online, then notice I have email
I click my inbox, and see, ah what the fuck?
20 emails, all coming from the same guy
I don't know why he's concerned about my penis size
And what is this? I won a brand new XBOX?
I click the link, and I get 50 pop-ups!
Try to close 'em, my PC takes a shit on me
There is no rubber for electronic STD's

For every spam I get
I'm gonna make you eat your own shit!
For every spam I get
I'm gonna choke you with your own dick!

Thank you for ruining the internet... fuck face
Thank you for ruining the internet... donkey balls
Thank you for ruining the internet... cooter cream
Thank you for ruining the internet... dick!

I get rebooted, and get back to my email
I got some forwards, a lame joke from mom
Keep on searching for anything legitimate
I got a feeling I'll never end up finding it
And what is this? Shania Twain all nekkid!!
I click the link and I get dicks on the screen!
Endless dickage, colossal disappointment
I'm gonna find you and slay you with enjoyment

For every spam I get
I'm gonna smash in your face with a brick
For every spam I receive
You're gonna get to gargle your pee
For every spam I get later
I'm gonna rub your face on a cheese grater
For every spam you send me
I'm gonna do... something... like... really not good...

Thank you for ruining the internet... shit lick
Thank you for ruining the internet... penis steak
Thank you for ruining the internet... anal butter
Thank you for ruining the internet... cunt!

21. Passive Vengeance

Your pubes are on the soap cuz you never wash em off
And i never say a THING
There's wrappers on the floor and you never do the dishes
And i never say a THING

well...
ill move your book onto a different page
ill let your hamster out of its cage
ill call you names when you just left the room
ill draw mustaches on pictures of you

passive vengeance
passive vengeance
no direct confrontation at all
passive vengeance
passive vengeance
no direct confrontation

You haven't got a job and you owe me for the rent
And i never do a THING
You always eat my food and you're hogging up the shower
And i never do a THING

well...
ill put a scratch on your favorite CD
ill tell your friends you watch TNT
ill steal your change that you dropped on the floor
i wont tell you when i go to the store

1)hey man
2)hey
1)where'd you go?
2)uhh to the store
1)oh well yea i kinda needed some toilet paper it'd be awesome if you could let me know when you do stuff like that
2)i'll be sure to let ya know next time

you won't
you won't see this coming at all
you won't
you won't see this coming

calculated retribution you will feel me indirectly
retaliation just as well be dealt because i
farted on your door handle (I got more comin)
i took your roll of toilet paper (No mercy)
i gave your dog diarrhea (He's got more comin)
i threw away your phone charger

so take that bitch
so take that bitch
you had enough bitch?
so take that bitch
you want more bitch?
so take that bitch
so take that bitch

how could you prove it was me?

that's called passive vengeance
passive vengeance
no direct confrontation at all
passive vengeance
passive vengeance
no direct confrontation

22. 373 Thank Yous

23. Outtakes

24. We Ran Out Of CD Space

What if the world was made of glazed doughnuts?
You would be like "Man, that's fuckin' sweet, I can't believe the world is made of doughnuts."

What if your hands were made of hotpockets?
You would be the first one to be eaten in survival situations.

What if your thumb roared like a dinosaur?
What if you peed out of your nose?
What if your face was shaped like Mexico, or trapezoids, or Texas and Hawaii?

What if the world was made of other worlds combined into a world,
just like the world you started with?
What if another world then ate the world made of doughnuts,
making all the doughnut people pissed?

What if your face was made of bumblebees?
You would be like "Dude, this really sucks, I do not want a face made out of bumblebees."
What if your dad was made of rainbows?
You would be like "OMG that's lame, I want a dad made out of Ninja Robots."

What if your pool was filled with applesauce?
What if a hotdog was your tongue?
What if your mouth was filled with broken glass, and fire ants, and three-meat jambalaya?

What if you tried to build a spaceship with a cannon that shoots crocodiles at everyone you hate?
And what if those crocodiles could shoot heat-seeking killer bees, ensuring that there would be no escape?

What if your room was filled with lots and lots of puppy dogs? You would be like "Awww, look at the puppy dog. Wahh, come here, come here, Awww, whatch'ya doin little guy? Whatch'ya doin? Who's the puppy dog, you're the puppy dog, he's a puppy dog, the puppy doggies!"

Where do the squirrels go during hurricanes?
What if your butt was on your chest?
What if guitars could squirt out sour cream, and nacho cheese, and pure sulfuric acid?

What if the world was made of other...





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