STEEL PANTHER LYRICS

1. Never Too Late (To Get Some Pussy Tonight)

1 am on a Saturday night
Looking for some gash... preferably tight
Open up the tinder, I got no matches
But there's plenty of fish in the sea with plenty of snatches

There's a tasty little beaver I'm gonna get on
Gonna be fucking before the dawn

Cause it's never too late to get some pussy tonight
No it's never too late to get some pussy tonight
It's never too late to get some pussy tonight

Sunday morning is coming in hot
Met a girl with a missing leg and I bought her a shot
She asked me to touch her stump and I wasn't shy
But she ended up leaving the bar with another guy

Gonna find a girl with both her legs
Steel Panther's gonna fertilize her eggs

Cause it's never too late to get some pussy tonight
No it's never too late to get some pussy tonight
It's never too late, it's never too late
It's never too late, it's never too late
It's never too late to get some pussy tonight

Don't give up
You still have time
To find some ugly hookers and some cocaine lines

Flying on x, sun's about to rise
Thinking bout getting a handy from one of the guys
Or heating up some apple pie... Maybe that's my date?
Then I remembered words of wisdom from Stix, it's never too late

Now Spyder's on the bass 'cause Lexxi's gone
But it doesn't mean we can't still fuck his mom!

Cause it's never too late to get some pussy tonight
No it's never too late to get some pussy tonight
It's never too late, it's never too late
It's never too late, it's never too late
It's never too late to get some pussy tonight

Gotta get it tonight
Gotta get some pussy tonight
Gotta get some pussy tonight
Gotta get some pussy tonight

2. Friends With Benefits

You get 35 dollars
I get to slap you with my dick
You get dinner at Spago's
I get to cum inside your ass

Friends with Benefits
Friends with Benefits

You get to drive my Maserati
I get to shower in your piss
You get your family here from Thailand
I get to shoot between your tits

Friends with Benefits
Friends with Benefits

You get to spend my cash
I get to bang that gash
You get the Louis Vuitton
I get a face to cum on

You get a fur coat and a diamond
I get your stilettos on my nuts
You get a shopping spree in London
I get your turds inside my mouth

Friends with benefits
Friends with benefits

You get a place to sleep
I get to fist you deep
You get security
I get impurity

People will judge us
But the haters will not budge us cause we're friends

Friends with benefits
Friends with benefits

We are friends with benefits

With benefits

3. On Your Instagram

I fell in love with an angel
Staring at me through my phone
Not a blemish on your beautiful face
Your skin was perfectly toned
Like Michael Angelo had nothing to do
So he painted you
But I soon found out that
It wasn't true

Why can't you look like you do on your Instagram
The girl that I want to screw is on your Instagram
Such a beautiful filter
Like god himself had built her
Where's the girl that I knew on your Instagram?

I looked at you for just moments
And wanted you for my wife
Within a week reality seared my eyes
And now I'm haunted for life
I used to think that catfish lived in the sea
But now it's all clear
The catfish was you
The sucker was me

Why can't you look like you do on your Instagram
The girl that I want to screw is on your Instagram
You were only lies
Beautifully digitized
Where's the girl that I knew on your Instagram?

If nothing is real
Why do I feel the way that I feel?

If it was all an illusion
Why do I follow you still?
Staring as if somehow I stared long enough
My hope could make it all real
Manipulation makes the fat people thin
The short people tall
The Instagram age
Has ruined us all

Why can't you look like you do on your Instagram
The girl that I want to screw is on your Instagram
Such beautiful eyes
Could only come from AI
Where's the girl that I knew on your Instagram?
Where's the girl that I knew on your Instagram?

4. Put My Money Where Your Mouth Is

Ow!
Oh, let's go!

The ladies say I've got a roll of dimes
All I know is it's a real good time
Not enough to make you rich
But it'll help you scratch that itch
You have created a roll of nickels
The situation sure is a pickle
Your pretty lips they look so fine
Let's lick the nickels and make them shine

Put my money where your mouth is baby
Stocks are so risky so
Put my money where your mouth is honey
And no one understands crypto
Put my money where your mouth is

Yeah!

I need a safe place to put my dough
Preferably a place where it can grow
I wonder what Warren Buffett would say
If I stuck it in a Hathaway
I like your assets I think you know
My wad of cash is about to blow
You know those nickels you made so shiny?
Let's deposit them into your hiney

Put my money where your mouth is baby
I'm so tired of the day trade
Put my money where your mouth is honey
I just wanna get lay laid
Put my money where your mouth is

Oh!
Ah Ha!
Yeah!

Baby it's a bear market
So back that asset up and park it
I don't want you diggin' ditches
You should be smothered in my riches

Put my money where your mouth is baby
Put my money where your mouth is mama
Put my money where your mouth is woman
Put my money where your mouth is

Put it in your mouth

5. 1987

Appetite For Destruction
Blowing us all away
Poison looking so damned good
I wondered if I was gay
Whitesnake making us bang our heads
In the still of the frickin' night
Coverdale banging Tawny Kitaen
And the world all felt just right

1987
I never wanna leave you
When you told me I was in my prime
Why didn't I believe you?
And the music scene will never be the same
But I didn't realize that things could get this lame

Dokken and Lynch were young and hot
They were warriors in a dream
I couldn't understand the Loudness dude
But man that guy could scream
Ozzy was on the Crazy Train
Biting heads off bats
It was long before the YouTube trolls
And this bullshit snappy chats

1987
You're always gonna be the best
Like fresh Colombian cocaine
Off a 19 year old breast
And the kids these days will never understand
What it's like to play an instrument and be in a band

Growing out our hair
Gettin' high with girls
Cranking Scorpions and Priest
Everyone in leather
There never was a doubt
In any of our minds that pretty soon
Dave and Eddie
Were getting back together

1987
Where did we go astray?
Back then the friends we had were real
And we saw 'em every day
And no one once got canceled for the things that they say

1987
Will forever be the year
When guys wore more lipstick than girls
And no one seemed to care
And the music that we worshipped will live on
Even after all our heavy metal heroes are gone

6. Teleporter

Hanging out on a double date
With my two friends Skeeter G and Sherry
And their barely legal cousin Molly May
Don't you know that girl is fucking cherry

Happened to be wearing my white pants
I had a fart that turned to shart by chance

Teleporter
Take me far away
I don't want to be here anymore
Teleporter
I shit my pants today
Molly May was laughing on the floor

High as fuck with my friends at the game
The Cleveland Browns and some team that was better
The hot dog girl was slammin' and she thought I was too
I bet one of my buddies I could get her

4 minutes and she's sucking on my dong
I look up and we're on the Jumbotron!

Teleporter
Take me far away
I don't want to be here anymore
Teleporter
They saw my dick today
On top of that
The Browns still didn't score!

17 back in 63
Mom and dad at dinner in the valley
No magazines
Jacked off anyway
To family album shots of my aunt sally

Dog was licking jiffy off my sack
I didn't realize my folks were back

Teleporter
Take me far away
I don't want to be here anymore
Teleporter
Everything has changed
Mom won't kiss the dog no more for sure

Get me out of here now Teleporter

7. Is My Dick Enough

[feat. Dweezil Zappa]

I can tell that something's missing when I look in your eyes
When I'm pushing up into you in between your thighs
Baby don't tell me everything's great
I'm a grown ass man, so give it to me straight

Is my dick enough?
Enough for you?
Do I fill you up or do you need two?
Is my dick enough?
Enough for you?
Do I fill you up baby?

You tell me I'm the only one on planet Earth
But I've seen baby carrots with a lot more circumference
Baby I can take it, tell me how you feel
Am I giving you a snack when you really need a meal?

Is my dick enough?
Enough for you?
Or should I call the guys in Mastodon too?
Is my dick enough?
Enough for you?
Do I fill you up baby?

You know size is not the only thing that matters to me
But you only compliment my personality
Give you everything I got and it's going in deep
But it still doesn't even rouse you from your sleep

Is my dick enough?
Enough for you?
Fucked you so hard my pelvis is bruised
Is my dick enough?
Enough for you?
Did I wake you up baby?

8. Magical Vagina

Your pussy, it casts a hex
All that I can do is think about sex
And the things I wanna be doing
To your holes when we are screwing
When you're below and I'm up above
I think I might be falling in love with

Your vagina
Your vagina
I'm in love with your vagina
It's a magical vagina

Your pussy is all I see
The only god your pussy needs is me
I will give her what she craves
Punish her when she misbehaves
I'll deliver when she needs it rough
I'll make her quiver, I'll never get enough of

Your vagina
Your vagina
I'm in love with your vagina
It's a magical vagina

I can look into your eyes
But all I see is what's between your thighs

I don't want to be your pal
I want to swim your birth canal

Your vagina, your vagina
I'm in love with your vagina
Your vagina, your vagina
I'm in love with your vagina
I am so in love with

Your vagina
Your vagina
I'm in love with your vagina
It isn't you I love it's
Your vagina
Your vagina
I'm in love with your vagina
It isn't you I love it's
Your vagina
Your vagina
I'm in love with your vagina
It's a magical vagina
It isn't you I love it's
Your vagina
Your vagina

9. All That And More

If you're the Earth and it's the Sun
If we're in the Matrix then it's the One
It'll clean your house and mow your lawn
And go to the market when the milk is gone
It'll rub your feet and rub your back
It'll get all up inside your crack
10 inches of perfection and it's not an illusion
It can win an election without Russian collusion

My dick is all that and more
My dick is what you're looking for
Headlining a muthafucking sold out show
My dick is all that and more
My dick is all that and more

It's got an A-plus rating on the S&P
It can skip the line at the DMV
It'll show you a time when it starts to sing
It's got a better goatee than the Tiger King
It'll fly you to Paris on a private jet
It's the capital D in the alphabet
It'll break your heart but before it does it will get you to sell your soul
It's the Elvis of Heavy Metal, true essence of rock 'n' roll

My dick is all that and more
My dick tip touches the floor
V.I.P. function assured
My dick is all that and more
My dick is all that and more, yeah

My dick is solid and gold
My dick will never get old

It's the first one in and the last to leave
The tangled web is the one it weaves
It finds a way because it has the will
If it had a degree it would be Dr. Fill
It's the only thing that you were thinking of
Whether we're just friends or we're in love
Be careful what you wish for if you're someone else's wife
There are no rules for him you see, he'll rule you for life

My dick is all that and more
My dick is full on the floor
No corner shop, it's a superstore
My dick is all that and more
My dick is all that and more

My dick, my dick, my dick, my dick
My dick is just so fucking hard
My dick is all that and more
My dick is all that and more

10. One Pump Chump

One pump
I blew my load
One pump
And I hit the road
One pump
You didn't get your clothes off
One pump
And now you have to hose off

One pump
Was all it took
Now go back to reading your book

I'm a one pump chump
One pump chump
I'm a one pump chump

One pump
And I'm all done
One pump
I hope you had fun
One pump
I emptied my balls
One pump
And it's viagra falls

One pump
I already came
Sorry, didn't get your name

I'm a one pump chump
One pump chump
Mr One Pump
One pump!
I'm a one pump chump

All my bitches think that it's a joke
First kiss to the money shot in just one stroke

One pump
Was all I had
One pump
I hope you ain't mad
One pump
The jizz was flying
One pump
And I left you crying

One pump
I must be cursed
My nut butter was dispersed

I'm a one pump chump
One pump chump
Mr One Pump
Hey!
One fucking pump!
I'm a one pump chump

Jump on my stump and
Hump till my dick takes a dump
One pump chump

11. Pornstar

I look at you on the Peloton
That I gave you Christmas day
Those perfect legs just motoring
Keeping cellulite away
I'll never introduce you to my friends
But that's a price I have to pay
I locked you in the basement
And baby that's where you will stay

You could've been a pornstar baby
No guy with balls would disagree
You could've been a pornstar baby
Taking cumshots from Danny D
You could've been a pornstar
But you wound up with me

I see your 6 pack flex and heave
When you're throwing up your dinner
I know what it takes to make you gag
I'm convinced I picked a winner
I see their thoughts when they look at you
Pretty sure the word is spinner
Baby if there really is a god
Then I was born to be a sinner

You could've been a pornstar baby
You're every lowlife's fantasy
You could've been a pornstar baby
You proved to me that I'm not gay
You could've been a pornstar
But you wound up with Me

You could turn a cock loving woman gay
With that magical Va-Jay
And I'm gonna ruin it everyday
Till the thing is all stretched out and grey

You could do Victoria's Secret
If they knew that you existed
If Harvey Weinstein was still free
He wouldn't care if you resisted
If the the pope could watch you pray
I'm pretty sure that he would jack
I've done that while you sleep at night
And dropped a load right on your back

You could've been a pornstar baby
You could be famous on the net
You coulda been a pornstar baby
Yeah you're the stretchiest girl I've met
You could've been a pornstar baby
You're every teenager's fantasy
You coulda been a pornstar
But you wound up with me
You coulda been a pornstar
But you wound up with me

12. Ain't Dead Yet

I'm a little worse for wear
And I'm losing all my hair
And my 6 pack became a keg
But the girls don't seem to care

Can't shoot the jizz no more
It just dribbles onto the whore
I just met
But I ain't dead yet

Well the debt keeps piling up
Shoulda signed the damn pre nup
Took a cue from old Kid Rock
They want your money - not your cock

And the coffers are running low
But I'm still snorting all the blow
You bet
'Cause I ain't dead yet

If you walked one mile in these shoes
You would understand the blues
'Cause this old rocker has paid his dues
This old rocker has paid his dues

Well the sun is setting fast
The party was not meant to last
I'm gonna play my final show
And scour the crowd for an eager ho

And give my very last backstage pass
So I can ravage that juicy ass
I just met
'Cause I ain't dead yet

No I ain't dead yet

13. Sleeping On The Rollaway

My baby caught me paying for an only fans
Flirting with a girl I believe was trans
Told me I should find another place to stay
There really wasn't much to say
Ya play, ya gonna get caught someday

Sleeping on the rollaway
Bumpy, bumpy
Hey yeah
That's just the price I pay

Met a tasty hooker on a business trip
She begged for me to give her more than just the tip
Came home with crabs bigger than the cat
Tell me how the fuck is a dude supposed to 'splain away that?
Hey hey

Sleeping on the rollaway
Bumpy, bumpy
Hey yeah
That's the price that I pay

No good choices
Evil voices
Screaming at me everyday
Yolo! Yolo! Go get laid!

Hey
Sleeping on the rollaway
Bumpy, bumpy
Hey yeah
That's just the price I pay

Hey
Sleeping on the rollaway
Bumpy, bumpy
Hey
Sleeping on the rollaway
Bumpy, bumpy
Hey
Sleeping on the rollaway
Bumpy, bumpy
Hey
Sleeping on the rollaway
That's just the price I pay





STEEL PANTHER LYRICS