SWASHBUCKLE LYRICS

1. Beer Goggles

Damn girl, what's your deal?
We were just tryin' to cop a feel
Seems ya got beat with an ugly stick
And those thighs are lookin' pretty thick
Your genetics didn't bless you
So its booze to the rescue!
Your hotness level just got toggled
Embrace the power of beer goggles

Its an age old technique
For in between the sheets
Refill our empty cups
Blood alcohol level up!

[Chorus]

You got what it takes to fuck some whales?
Man the harpoons! Let's bag some tail!

Wouldn't fuck ya with someone else's dick
Ladies, we could have our pick
But thanks to liquid sense destroyers
We're equal opportunity employers
Even your goddamn rolls have rolls
Before we put it in yar holes
We'll find a toilet so we can yack
Then pound ya with our monster sacks
Bump and grind like you're a perfect ten
You think it'll last, but think again
Kick ya to the curb and hit the road
Shotgun some cans for a quick reload
Keep tellin' yourself personality matters
As last call quickly descends
Hazy judgments become our friends

2. I Hate The Sea (And Everything In It)

Blood in the water
Sharks chomping at the bit.
False brethren of the code
Have sunken lower than shit.
Self-proclaimed worldly masters,
Charted our demise,
Strayed us from our course.
You fuckers I despise.
I hate the sea and everything in it.
Blown your wind into our sail,
Then set fire to our mirth.
Left shipwrecked upon the rocks,
Whilst you reveled in your worth.
Your empires will turn to ashes,
At these hands you'll die.
The Biggest mistake you've ever
Made was leaving us alive.
I hate the sea.
Fuck you.

3. Poop Deck Toilet Wreck

Oh shit! Its the brown sound
Bottom dropping by the pound
Sprint on down to the pot
Drop yar pants and pop a squat!
Delivering your human waste
The porcelain hath been disgraced
Ripping the toilet off the wall
Observe the fall of another stall
The deuce is loose!
Colonic abuse!
Control that bowl
With your booty juice!
Leave that shit!
Don't say a word!
Fly back home
Surprise bean curd!
Pinchin' loafs and takin' names
Putting every bathroom to shame
Doo doo butter in your rudder
Buckle up here comes the 'Buckler
Blasting ass in the Fatherland
This mishap has just got us banned
Hotels and hostels need beware
Concerning John’s, you’ll need a spare

4. Slaughter On International Waters

Gathering from the corners of the Earth
In Miami, the bravest ship made berth
Their sights were set on paradise
High time to get that beer on ice
Pile in to your tiny staterooms
Assume that you will meet your doom
Fuck the silly safety lesson
Tasty buffets and cold ones beckon!

[Chorus]

Grab the dudes, its time for a cruise!
With kickin' tunes and bitchin' booze!
Now witness a massive slaughter
Out on international waters

It would be the party of our lifetime
So good it would feel like crime
Swaying to the motion of the tides
We were in for one hell of a ride
Titties poppin' out on deck
Massive mounds to turn our necks
Familiar faces from port to starboard
Pure, unfiltered fun occurred
Bottles were rocked off the shelves
Act after act all gave 'em hell
Inside the hull, beneath the stars
The fans and bands dried up the bars

No where to run, no where to hide
A place where heros and zeros collide
The wildest four days of all our lives
A miracle every soul survived







SWASHBUCKLE LYRICS