THE CARRIER LYRICS

1. Unloved

[Instrumental]

2. Wasted

I will not wait for you, no I'll never wait for you, to be the person you promised to me. And no you'll never see how much better off I am without you next to me. I'd rather hold the hand of loneliness than have your blood save me. To be the life in my veins, to be the heartbeat in my steps, to have those nights I never slept. To get my wasted time back. I will rip it from your flesh and I will take what is mine. It seems you don't remember anything. But I remember everything.

3. Empty Words

Broken mirrors and ripped up pictures are all that's left from the faint remnants of your carried soul, standing alone and I don't know what to do. I look back on yesterday, it's all just memories of better days of how you brought me out of a dark night instead of leaving me there to fight all my demons on my own, destroying me, killing me. I don't want to hear it, destroying me and killing my home. You said you would do so much for me but now you've said enough. And it's time for me to do it on my own. I'm the one with the last word. Cause at the end of the day, when it's all said and done, I'm the only one left standing there alone.

4. Alcatraz

I've spent so much time imprisoned in my mind, told to shut up and sit down, to close my eyes. I've realized what they've done to me, trying numbing me from the pain of the world. It's everlasting, it'll never go away, it'll never change, not today. Even sheltered lives can't hide from not feeling alive it's like throwing knives and my mind. It's like stabbing out my eyes. I mean every word that I spit, it comes from the darkness of my mind. It comes from the pain inside. I feel it all the time. Nothing will ever change, you can't change the hatred that I feel. That's a power of mine and I've realized I'm done decaying inside. I want to see better days. I want to see hope in things. I want to see a different way, to make the pain go away. I'm taking my life back, it's mine.

5. Nineteen Years Young

I'm nineteen years young and my mind is weathered. I'm nineteen years young and things aren't getting any clearer. Since '88 I've felt this hate suffocated by my inability to overcome the unknown. Only fragments of memories I can't piece together. I can't turn inwards because I can't see because I can't fully understand who I was born to be. I have a family who will always love the me that they never see. My tormented soul ravages me after a lifetime of praying. I'll come to an end only to find my years of praying have fallen to deaf ears. Ideas come from nowhere. Where was the beginning of it all. I've cheated, I've lied, I've stole, I've sold my soul, all in hopes of ending it all. The future I see looks bright but the lights are dimming. I'd pray to him if I thought he was rel. I wouldn't question him if he could make me feel anything other than apathy anything other than certain tragedy. I've got not other choice but to have faith in life regardless of the end. I must live my life. I'm seeing the world in black and white. As if everyday I live is a memory of another persons life. As if everyday I live is from another's life.

6. Stranded

I remember you walking out the door about a year to give it up all for a shot in the dark. Life is plagued with hours of meaningless work. The mistakes I've made I must my live with but at this point I'm not sure how long that'll be. Fifteen minutes away, two thousand miles astray, you left me like a ghost town to fall and decay. I'll be stranded on my own. I'll be left to die. I was in love with just the idea of you but we haven't spoken in so many nights. My mind is now blank where knowledge could be my heart now has a hole were your love could be. Not being able to think is killing me. The color has been ripped straight from my heart. Now I'm just straight bleeding blue.

7. Panicstricken

I chose death over life, wanted to meet my maker I was dying inside. Pain too great to deal with me made me try to take my life. But now I've seen the light, I've got a second chance at life. I'm not retracting my old tracks. I'm never going back. To the locked doors and the blinding lights and the uncertainty of whether or not it will be a good or bad day. I never want to wonder what life would be like without me in it, because I'm alive. I've taken what I've learned with me, it's all I know, and I'll been kickin' my old shit out the front fucking door. Because I don't need it anymore. I'm taking steps forward one foot at a time, making sure not to fall. And it will be the last trip of my life. Reaching up while the ship sinks to the bottom of this dead ocean. A thousand stars couldn't shine through everything we've been through, in this world that has no ending. I'm never going back to locked doors. I'm never going back to blinding lights.

8. Memoirs

Forgetting faces, forgetting times, remembering days I've left behind. Becoming the person I've always hated and betraying the ones I've created. Looking back at the days I've held so close and paving way for the path I've chose. A lesson lived, a lesson learned, and I'm done getting burned. You're all I'll ever know. Lens glistening from the skies above. Lens glistening from the night above. You're all I'll ever know...

9. Heaven

Heaven is not a place on my mind. I'm just controlled by the other things inside. God's the only one who can judge me. I haven't met him yet so you can take a seat. My mind is racing, eyes in a haze. But I'm still controlled by other things. Born into a world that doesn't feel. Born into a world that barely seems real. Born into a world that will never see the lies in the ways that we live. My only hope is that one day this world will open its eyes and see. My only hope is that one day this world will recognize me. I know what I have to do, but knowings not enough. I know what I have to do, but how do I keep messing up? Everyday I keep making the same mistake. Everyday that I wake I keep making the same mistakes. Burn the houses that use to be home because I'm not living for tomorrow. Burn the houses that use to be home because I'm not living for tomorrow.

10. One Year Later

I'm living in this world without you watching my own life pass me by. I'm living in this world without you being a bystander to my own life. I'm on the outside trying to look in. I need to feel connected or else I'm going to lose it. I'm waiting for my destiny to manifest in front of me. The one thing I was sure of, the one thing I knew, the only thing I thought I had fucking blew. I'm showering at two in the morning so no once can seem clean the filth I have come to be. How can I focus on tomorrow when I can live today. I wanted hope, I wanted change. The stars have fallen from the sky. I wanted hope, I wanted change, but now I'm ready to die. You can't kill someone who's already dead. You can't even begin to understand the thoughts in my head. I beat my self over and over again about nothing, just sensing reality is dead. I hate myself more than you ever can. And I'll hate myself until the very end. I lost my heart the day the world went cold. The sun doesn't rise to heat this godforsaken earth. An image of you appeared as I began to cry. An image of you appeared as I slowly died. Cynical of this world, pessimistic on a whole. Cynical of this world, pessimistic on a whole, living in the biggest lie, calling purgatory my only home.

11. ...Everything Has Changed

[Instrumental]





THE CARRIER LYRICS