THE COUNTY MEDICAL EXAMINERS LYRICS

9. Bloatation (Repugnant Refloatation)

Body density initially sinks the corpse beneath the water surface
But rebellious bacteria active in death create a gaseous transformation most turgid
Putrefaction rancid and ripe inflate the cadaveric methane-filled flesh balloon
The tumescent sack refloats as a swollen ammonia-spewing corpse pontoon

Procumbently drifting, propelled by a jetting zephyr of decompositional gas
Waterlogged, yet buoyant, the corpse teems with algae-fresh water insects amass
Distended with caustic carbon dioxide and repellent hydrogen sulfide
A swollen miasma of inflated cavities slowly leaking sulfur dioxide

A plume of white froth bubbling from bleached submersion-wrinkled lips
Skin sloughing from the bloated abdomen to shriveled pruned fingertips
The decedent's last meal, rich in carbohydrates, aerate the swollen digestive track
Bobbing on the surface, the corpse eructs volumes of acerbic odoriferous gas

Gaseous bloatation
Repugnant refloatation
Nauseous eructation

Excessive egression of sour effluvium ends the stage of Primary Floatation
Spent carcass sinks while putrefactive bacteria breed more fumes for postmortem levitation
Fatty tissues deliquesce and necrotic vapor is produced in order to assuage
The process of Decomposition who demands another crude refloat: the Secondary Stage

The cadaver triumphantly arises from beneath the bubbling cold surface again
Every inch of tissue swollen with buoyant gases for this putrefactive regimen
A gas bomb issuing tear-inducing stench, a reeking, floating bacterial coffin
The decedent anus expectorates an abdomen of stale air, causing the carcass to spin

Antemortem microorganisms lead a postmortem mutiny of rot
The drifting stiff's bloated demeanor inspires nausea and distraught
Severe marine predation and mutilation tests the scene investigators stamina
So they call upon credentialed expertsThe County Medical Examiners

The highly buoyant Secondary Refloata chore to dissect and classify
On route to the morgue, my staff is routinely prepped and awaiting me on standby
I displace the gas and deflate the corpse to facilitate the drenched necropsy
As the autopsy suite is perfumed with foul rancorous air and repulsive potpourri

Gaseous bloatation
Repugnant refloatation
Nauseous eructation

10. Cruentous Mess

Viscous fluids leak from stumps
Coagulated blood clots in clumps
Sticky hardening film floats in wreaths
Cover cold cruentous pools beneath

Cruor leakage
Fluid seepage

Arteries spill their hemoglobin
Wounds drip ichor, mouths drool purge
Rivulets of lifeblood ejected
Repulsive slicks of claret surge

Cruor leakage
Fluid seepage

Corpse corpuscles wash the slab
Hematology down the drain

Red froth
Blood foam
Cruor puddles
On the floor

Three-day-old gelatinous blood circulating round
Platelet-rich serum spills onto the ground
Rubiginous shoeprints smear the morgue tile floor
Stainless steel dissection slab, stainless no more

11. Forensic Photography

Organs in situ, flashbulbs burst, it makes the still life glisten
Immortalizing bisected innards meticulously dissected apart
Tissue samples documented with a camera by the proprietor
Of anatomical scientific photographic art

The forensic photographer preps the lighting as I soften up his subject
The 35mm camera and ring flash will capture every subtle textual nuance
The flash system uses shutter speeds of 1/250 to eliminate
The reddish yellow tinge fluorescent overhead lights tend to illuminate

Taking care to avoid reflective glare
And including wound marker measurement scales
Using ISO 64 Kodachrome® color temperature film
Duplicates the gory mess in wondrous detail

Tools of the trade: tripod, ring flash, and lens
Snapshots of grume: sanguineous celluloid to offend

The corpse holds its pose, each picture taken twice
One with and without an Autopsy ID Number plate
The forensic photographer shoots the results of each slice
It's the cold end of life that his art imitates

Putrefactive apertures and fetid f-stops
Shutter speeds and scalpels, vignettes of viscous slop

As medical evidence presented in a court of law
The film is developed by officers of the court
Prints are circulated for trade medical journals
Negatives are housed and filed deep in the morgue

From the crime scene splashed with tissue and bone
To the autopsy suite, under saw, clippers, and knife
To the funeral home where the cadaver is shown
Bodies are photographed more in death than in life

12. A Brief Discourse Of Wound Ballistics

Terminal wound ballistics: the science of flesh-colliding projectiles
Gaping buckshot cavities disgorge chewed tissue gurgitations
Hydrostatic displacement frees milky intestinal chyle
My forensic team probes for splintered bullet fragmentations

Hollow point horrors with mushrooming penetration
Entrance and exit wounds are matched during post mortem examination
Propellant-tattooed wound sites paint blood-spattered stories
Portraits in zigzagging bullet trajectories

Scorched carbonaceous holes yield range estimation clues
Bullet paths plotted with metal dowels and radiographs
Full-jacketed slugs ricochet and birth deliquescent steaming stews
Recovered rounds are collected by my alacritous staff

13. Cooperative Cadaveric Custody

I gingerly handle the dead
To ensure a bruiseless corpse
I observe all methods of postmortem care
And standards as a matter of course
Most decedents are viewed open casket
So it behooves the pathologist to know
The techniques to use when handling deceased
So autopsy markings don't show

We charily follow the necropsy schedule
And behave as cautious prosectors
Corpses leave the morgue's custody
And enter the domain of the Funeral Director

All sutured incisions should be sharp and clean
And under burial attire, must remain unseen
When positioning the carcass on its anterior side
Prevent facial bruising, so difficult to hide

During cranial examination, reflect the scalp past the hairline at your own risk
You might leave creases in the forehead that the embalmer can't efface
Upon removal of the brain, before the notched calvarium is replaced
Fill the cavity with absorbent material to hold the cranial shape

Remove the testes
Through the inguinal canal
Because posterior perforations
Allow embalming fluid out

Pathology becomes an art
When dead are opened with nominal marks
Embalmers welcome my proficiency
And morticians value my scrutiny

Carotid neck organs left intact
Iliac arteries promptly ligatured
The stiff is deftly rendered leak proof
With a Y-incision running suture

Organs are restored to the body in a plastic bag
The breastplate returned to reduce chest sag
Rinsing the corpse with cold water, we purify
Then allow the body to drip clean and air dry

Refrigerated to stave off the ravaging putrefactive progressive skin changes
Dusky hands rest on abdomens as tied gauze strips cinch slack arms into place
The hearse-delivered corpse is signed over to local funeral director representatives
Where, at the parlor, they'll lay the rotting head on a perfumed casket pillowcase

Remove the rectum
Far from the anus
Lest embalming fluid leak
From a rectal stump unligated

Funeral home assistants haunt hospital basement alleys
For sundered anatomized cadaveric deliveries
Piled into hearses, to the chagrin of watching nurses,
The enshrouded carcass reeks most unsavorily

Carcass sealed expertly
Undue holes mitigated
Stench increasingly redolent
As fluids are aspirated

Beyond the toe-tagged feet
Beneath the blood drenched sheets
Inside the cavities sewn
The morgue's marriage with the funeral home

14. Prosector's Bane: Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease

Medical Examiners exact precautions with high risk cases
AIDS and Hepatitis B can sometimes thrive in the deadest of places
But there exists an abject malady far beyond the scope of these
The currish blight of pathologists everywhere: Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease

CJD: a rare spongiform encephalopathy
As difficult to destroy as anything in the whole of biology
Rapid, progressive dementia, an inexorable feature of the disease
Vacuolar brain reduced to a porous gray Swiss cheese

This pernicious plague can enter your bloodstream
Percutaneosly through a penetrating injury
So double-glove and employ face shield protection
To avoid contracting this insalubrious contagion

Moldered brain
Prosector's bane

One in seven autopsies involves
Maladroit self injuries and dissection faux pas
A slip of the scalpel, a scrape from a bone
Negligence an epitaph etched on pathologist tombstones

CJD autopsy conducted entirely in situ
Corpse retained in a body bag to collect stray infected tissue
Grume permeate sack bays the disease within
Excised organs placed in containers filled with phenol-saturated formalin

Instruments and surfaces washed with 01 N sodium hydroxide
Undiluted bleach swabs can prevent accidental cadaverous homicide
All surgical gowns and gloves are assumed contaminated
They are transported to the basement and promptly incinerated

The autoclave: a prosector's trusted friend
Pre-Vacuum FaurForgeТЎ M7 with locking ends
Cranked to 134ТА C, where CJD quickly dies
We leave instruments inside for two hours at a time

Accidental self-contamination our fear
We conquer trepidation with our disinfection gear
The patron devil of pathology, thy title: CJD
Its cruel epidemiology puts us all in jeopardy

We solemnly dedicate this dirge for the fallen
Who selflessly plunged into infected revulsion
Their steadfast duty deserves our thanks
Signed: TCME, Doctors Putnam, Radcliffe, and Fairbanks

CJD
Scourge of pathology
Calamitous scrapie
Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease





THE COUNTY MEDICAL EXAMINERS LYRICS