VASTUM LYRICS

1. Seasons In The Claustrum (The Libidinal Spring)

Roots of civilization founded on incestuous rites
Two gods, phallicized monstrocity, maternal archetypes,
The friction of the split between them, primal confusion,
Intrusion masquerades as a mutual, oracular meeting
Intrusion of the object into the child, birth, fascist collusion
Of psyche-somas in the season of eternal weaning

Seasons in
the claustrum
barrel through me

And they cull
split
and defile
all self-certainty

Primal tongues
twisting in
to futurity

Incestuous
split foundations
of all humanity

The welcoming flesh, welcome sanctification of the self
Blind intrusion of the object, split animal cells
I am your father -- you are mine, we are both deified
We are split, with you intruding, intrapsychic infanticide

Intrusion masquerades as a mutual, oracular meeting
Intrusive fathers, self-sodomized, feigning deific feeling

Father where have you been?
All that's left is your sin
Am I your child, you are my God?
From incestuous union we are plunged into longing...

I have introjected you, my aggressor
And now, I am introjecting you,
as my confessor
I was molested by your guilt
Penetrated by your omnipotent will

You have trained me to introject
Trained me to reproach, deny, neglect
We are forever mired in sin
Together in immanent longing...

Our depths of joy in this saturation
In our polymorphously
perverse constitution
the dissolution of our grief comes
in libidinal death
and the grace of mourning...

In the solitude of the child
the father is immobile,
and the child, inspired
to dream, to live in reverie
of life giving forms,
an ahistorical spring...

2. Enigma Of Disgust

Enigmatic signs giving life
To the darkest burdens of mind
From the touch of silence is bred
The enigma of eternal disgust

Mothering unconscious
transmission
Of the father's shame
and obsession

Life giving wound

Open, unsated,
Fatal, voracious

Cannot wash the stain of abjection
Turning to Gods for protection
From the desire we've been taught not to trust
By the enigma of eternal disgust

You can't hear the lies of convention
Phallic
dictation
of perception

Life giving wound

Open, unsated,
Fatal, voracious

Ego is born
by being fucked
By the enigma
of eternal disgust

Inherit the shame
Disrobe in disgust
Mask the odors of your lust,
Polymorphous and unlearned

Internalized horror of what lies below the belt

You can't hear the lies of convention
Phallus always dictating perception
Of the desire we've been taught not to trust
By the enigma of eternal disgust

3. 3 A.M. In Agony

I awake - 3 AM, debilitated
Jolt of pain - perpetual, waking nightmare
Ruthless - yellow, crimson razor streams
Cry, bleed - drops of fire flush away below me

Alone in my infection
The price of affection
Cycle of echoing pain
Brings endless sleepless torture
Unpredictable microscopic
Invisible attacker

The object of my affection
The source of my agony
Sound asleep beside me
Unaware that his friction creates
The sensation of a thousand interstitial blades down my center

I awake - 3 AM, debilitated
Piercing pain - pounding, throbbing, waking nightmare
Dysuria - yellow, crimson razor streams
Burn, bleed - drops of fire slice me where I came

4. Incel

Deprivations of the flesh
A quarantine in abject absence
Euphoria denied: dripping, unsated phantom limb
Suffocated stifled mass can feel the temperature rise
By knowledge unrealized: a tumorous, parasitic grief
Animus erectus
Tension stretching - stretching skin
Disparity of brain and loin
The affliction: a disease of solitude
Limerent objects intrude a stunted psyche
An insane punishment
Amygdalic uprising
Spewing into fathomless deserted depths

Pent up pain
A burning traps secretions inside
Involuntary celibacy
Deprivation by way of obsession
Stiffening with no release
Endless torment with no release

Eruptions silent, miserable, invisible
Mere echoes of delight
A distant mockery of joy
Unconsummated acts
Consume body and mind
A prison of what could but will never be
Hopeless
Ugly
Destructive
Self

5. Patricidal Lust

Spill your seed
into my father's tears
His suffering
All over my body
His flesh
Seared into the object
The scent
of his chest splayed open
Homoerotic

Patricidal Lust
Let me hold you in my arms one more time
Rest my head in your guts
I am held in blood,
warmth, sanguine, sublime

Fetishization
to bind Desire
into chasms of suffering
where the dead
meet the living

And the impossible object
Burn of my father's tears and guts
Becomes my only true love

Lifeless, an object
Forever mourning in lust
An object, my only true love

Lust begins to wither
Then begins to splinter
From fetish to perversion
From mourning to elation

Emerged from his rectal cage
To breath the stench, the air, the passage
The object discovered dead
My palms turn skyward, loss of head

Emerge from the haven of his guts
from constant mourning
and fixation on my lust

Ancient forms, polymorphous rites,
the sea, the wind,
the world devoid
of sexuality...

6. Repulsive Arousal

The dream spills inside
Forcing its way in me
Horrified of what took place
Of what just transpired
A cloud of vague shame lurks
A trace in the corners
Fades into obscurity upon awakening

Impassive figure towers about me
Changing faces rapidly
Upside down, my head is tilted
Expressionless, I surrender
Light shoves the filth back into the corners of my mind
Feigned, perverted normalcy
Blind spots get me through the day
Until midnight approaches once again

Violated, a sickening pleasure
Disgusted by the fantasy
Mind conquered by lawless desire
Sublimated by lack of memory
Blackness turns to grey upon consciousness
Shadows shrink as daylight hits my retina
Forgetful, I awake

Towering figure reappears
Larger than the night before
Millisecond glimpse of that everchanging face
I freeze in repulsion, the revelry
Nausea mingled with excitement
I take him in completely







VASTUM LYRICS