VCTMS LYRICS

1. Sick//Tired

My head is a prison that nobody visits
I'm stuck in this hell and I can't find an exit
I wish things were different, I wish I could help it,
Stress keeps building
I can't fucking fix this

I'm a VCTM of my own mind
Anxious all the damn time
Not to far from the edge
I'm hanging by a fine line
Stranger in my own skin
Unhinged emotions
What's it like to feel real?
I've lost it again

I'm obsessed with doing the wrong thing
I'll never learn from my mistakes, it's a routine
I'll always be second best
It's something that I've learned to live with
I am a train wreck (I guess I am who I am)
I don't expect you to understand
I can't move on, I can't progress
Stuck at a stand still
I'm here stagnant

[Devin MacGillivary of Yuth Forever:]
Relapsing on the aftermath of the old me
My old ways composed of demon/limbs and a rope swing
Can't snap out of it
This is the reality
Of a lost mind with a destructive personality

Useless and irrelevant
Worthless and incompetent
Intolerable and belligerent
I can't even make sense of it
I'm sick of everything [3x]

2. Detached

Hollow, I'm dead behind the eyes
Barely breathing, I'm hardly alive
My pain is constant, I'm addicted to the hurt

Should I get my hopes up? Should I not?
Sometimes the doubt in my mind is all that I've got
I always think the worst, jumping to conclusions
I can't help, but to expect disappointment

I want to turn it all off, I wish I didn't feel at all
Welcome in what gets under my skin and I know it's all my fault
Fuck my flaws I know that this is all wrong
I condescend my confidence
And I can't help that I'm a walking contradiction
Downing my prescriptions, undermining my condition

So what?

I'm sick, deluded, nothing but a burden
To my family, my friends, I'm not a good person

And I can't say that I fit in
And I can't say that I do anything right
And I can't say that I'm doing fine
(And I can't say that I'm doing fine)

Hollow, I'm dead behind the eyes
Barely breathing, I'm hardly alive
My pain is constant, I'm addicted to the hurt
Set aside my emotions, they never come first

3. Subdued

The last thing that went through my head
Was a bullet I carved your name in.
And I didn't get into heaven
But I thought I'd let you know I wish I never let you in

Love, oh, we'll never get enough
The insubstantial feeling that sustains you like a drug
Love, yeah, it's never enough
It's the chaos that controls you and goes off like a loaded gun

Damaged goods, but still one of a kind
Deception lies within deceit, you're the poison that resides
Inside my mind, I think about it all the time
How I'm mentally destroyed
I deserve that, right?

Getting used to the abuse I can never be the same
Will you ever understand what you took away
Love, that's something I thought I could trust
But I guess I'm the one that wasn't enough

I just doesn't make sense
The people closest to you hurt you in ways you never thought that they would do
Someone you thought you knew, someone you put your faith into,
Become nothing more than a toxic presence that fills the room
Ha!

A stranger now, like everyone else
That took a piece of me just for their selve
Another person comfortable with wearing my out
I never gained the strength to move on
Why couldn't I just walk out?

Settle for less, second best
Something I should have expected
Settle for less, settle for less
Salt in the wound, I'm such a mess
Settle for less, second best
Oh, look who guessed it
Settle for less, one last request,
Tell me you love me, rip my heart out of my chest

4. Demon//Limbs

Inability to cope with life effectively
Can't pinpoint why I'm worrying excessively
Overthinking was the death of me
Checked out, forgotten all about rationality
Nothing makes sense in my head anymore
It's all flooded with guilt and remorse
Even with the most honorable intentions
I always make a shitty impression

I have a love/hate relationship with everything
Conflicted with the way I feel, it's unsettling
Feeling like dirt,
Feeling like that's even more than I'm worth,
Feeling like this life isn't more than I deserve

Bitter//relief, bitter//relief
Rid me of this unease
Bitter//relief, bitter//relief
Tell me that it gets easy

The carousel never stops
Exhaustion clings onto every bone that I've got

I'm to damaged to love, to broken to care
Emptiness is all that's there [2x]

I have a love/hate relationship with everything
Conflicted with the way I feel, it's unsettling
Feeling like dirt,
Feeling like that's even more than I'm worth,
Feeling like this life isn't more than I deserve

5. Bitter//Reflief

Bury me in the deep six
Deep breathes let it set in
Tear my mind into pieces
Just watch me fall apart [2x]

Clawing out I can feel it in my finger tips
Let me inflict pain on others just like you did
We all suffer in one way or another
And I know I haven't really recovered
Rotting from the inside out still torn from the way that you let me down
Again and again, I'm sick and tired of it
You antic and how you're so found of abandonment

Darkness, my old friend, what welcomes you here again? [2x]

Bury me in the deep six
Deep breathes let it set in
Tear my mind into pieces
Just watch me fall apart [2x]

I'm displaced in this moment cemented in time
Trying to find beauty behind these hollow lies
I don't know what I want anymore, or what I'm looking for
Nothing helps not even when the high takes it's course.

Even when the high takes its course, I'm still torn from all the fucked up things I felt before
Blegh!

No expression, just going through the motions
Through the motions
I dance with death just to keep my relevance.

[Jay from Unity TX rap:]
Cut through, cut through
Erase all the things I do

Bury me in the deep six
Deep breathes let it set in
Tear my mind into pieces
Just watch me fall apart

Bury me in the deep six
Just watch me fall apart

6. Know & Loathe

I don't understand anybody
And nobody will ever understand me
And I'm tired of trying to explain myself
Because I don't see the point anymore

I've come to terms that I will never amount to anything
All the effort I put forth is always for nothing
So fuck it

Here's to giving in and giving up
Hating who you've become
Here's to giving in and giving up
And never being good enough to anyone

I hate that I don't belong
I hate that I'm just strung along
And I hate that I care for those who don't care at all

I'm the one they know and loathe
It's not fair, but that's just how life goes
I'm the one they all know and loathe
It's not fair, but that's just how life goes
Here's to giving in and giving up
Hating who you've come
And never being good enough to anyone

I'm the one they all know and loathe
It's not fair, but that's just how life goes
I'm the one they all know and loathe
And I hate that it's all that it'll ever know
I'm always gonna be the odd man out
Three cheers for feeling sorry for our fucking selves

7. The Relapse Process

Incomplete, you complete me
But who am I kidding, in reality you ruined me
I miss my innocence, I wish I could fix this
Gone beyond repair, desperation is all that's there

Incomplete, you complete me, uh

I still think of you often, even if you left me here to rot
And I'm trembling, caught up in the worst days
I forgot why I'm here in the first place
I'm trembling, caught up in the worst days
I forgot why I even fucking chose to stay

I'm in pieces, can't keep myself together so I'll forget about myself
I should I make an effort?
I'm coming undone

Use me as you will
Pull my strings until my self-esteem rebuilds
The guilt, the guilt, oh I know the drill
I'll apologize for everything until time stands still
Use me as you will

I still think of you often, even if you left me here to rot
And I'm trembling, caught up in the worst days
I forgot why I'm here in the first place
I'm trembling, caught up in the worst days
I forgot why I even fucking chose to stay

Scathing takes shape in my brain
Fathoming the senseless and the insane
We fall back to its place, rationality does feel the same

Psychotic break, desperation is all that I know
Holding on to hoping I can even truly let go [2x]

[Darius Tehrani of SPITE]
Spite cvlt motherfucker

I'm stressing over all the things that I can't control
Bend over backwards, attempting to feel whole
My mind just wondered off tonight, my thoughts they decompose
This vacancy's to comfortable for me to let go

8. Death Perception

I've about had it with my antics
Over dramatic and manic, I'm unbalanced
Bitter romantic, might as well kill me while you're at it

Defeated and hopeless,
I'm sure most of you know this
Sedate me then maybe I wont feel so empty
Progressing so that I could feel something

Defeated and hopeless
Tragedy at your service
Anxiety and anger, you make me nervous
Come with out warning and leave when you feel like it

[John Robert C. of The Last Ten Seconds of Life:]
Killing my mood, killed off the smile
Please oh why wont you take me away for a while
I can't resist to feel hopelessness
Mental demons, hard to dismiss
Flirting with disaster, I'm still born bastard, I don't matter
With nothing to show
A loser, a head case with a head space still sinking below

Still sinking below, I'm sinking below, sinking alone...

[Cade Armstrong of Peacekeeper:]
I wanna be somebody else
Sinking below, replace me this mess I am
I wanna be somebody else
Somebody else
I wanna feel something inside me, rebuilding

I wanna be somebody else
I wanna feel something other than guilt
Am I gone? I can't tell
Doing all the things to lose myself

Mental demons hard to dismiss
Troubled senses, we co-exist
It's raining, it's pouring, the reaper is calling
And here I am still fucking drowning
Needles and pins, needles and pins
Insecurity builds, over thinking beings
Tell me when all of this end
Dealing with the devils hand again
Dealing with the devils hand again

9. Separation Sickness

Loss, loss it's all we've got
Convince me you're sorry when I know that you're not
Damage is dealt, life loses its cause
The will to move on comes at a cost

It comes at a cost, life comes at a cost

Loss, loss it's all we've got
Convince me you're sorry when I know that you're not
Those moments spent just between me and you,
We both know they'll never lose there value

[Hunter Young of Culture Killer:]
I always seem to fixate on the things I can't change
I've been stuck in the past for quit some time
Eternal sunshine of this spotless mind
Splitting my brain to pass the time
Wiping the slate clean, lobotomy will this fix me?

I always seem to fixate on the things I can't change
I've been stuck in the past for quit some time
I remember the days when life was easy
Now those days are just a feeling
That is slipping away, it hurts to just move on
Now the people you love, now the people you miss
All I can do is reminisce
And sadness is revisited, it's ironic isn't it?

Loss, loss
It's all that we've got
Convince me you're sorry when I know that you're not
The damage is dealt

10. I'm Thinking Of You All The While

I'm thinking of you all the while

Take me, make me feel nothing
Take me, here I lay empty

Mr. Sandman, still sick of being alone
My uncontrolled emotions still the only thing that makes me feel at home
Without you, I'm miserable at best
A chronic liar, a has been that won't give it a rest

Take me, make me feel nothing
Take me, here I lay empty

Mr. Sandman, what don't I know?
Still at rock bottom with nowhere to go
I'm hitting the bottle, I'm cutting it close
Transparent and reckless, you know how this goes
Please oh please can this be something else

Take me, make me feel like nothing

Mr. Sandman, please please end my dream
Rid me from this wishful thinking
Wash away this empty feeling

Held my breath until I couldn't breathe
Sewed my eyes shut and now I can't see
Cut my circulation until for years I've been numb
Pulled the trigger back and then I became someone!

Make me complete, yeah make me complete

The reaper reeled me in and I tried so hard to drown him out
But my sins seeped through my skin
And sitting here wondering
Will you save me from this hell I am in?

Take me, make me feel like nothing

Mr. Sandman, please please end my dream
Take me here I lay empty, my thoughts are always so tempting.

11. Anesthetic

Time stands still while all our days fade
Watch life pass you by, I bet your heart breaks
You tell me that you're okay
Heart overshadowed by greed and disdain

I'll forever pity the living
Putting faith into a world that's less than giving
You and me, we don't mean anything
The good die young cause pain just leads to suffering

I'll forever pity the living
Putting faith into a world that's less than giving
You and me, we don't mean a God damned thing
Because the good die young and pain just leads to suffering

I'm suffocating with every breathe
Wishing that every moment wasn't spent
Hoping that one day I can be that person again
But I'm turning into everything I'm against

I'm contorted, overwhelmed, by guilt and grief
One by one my friends becoming one with the deceased
Numb to the feeling of losing everything
Pain is all I feel please take away this suffering

Death take me, myok

Someone you once knew, lifeless
Buried down deep below in a casket
Asking yourself what had happened
Another tragic accident
Anesthesia, I need you
Save me from this mental abuse
Save me from all the time I'll spend thinking of you

Put me to sleep I never want to wake up
Let me take your place
Sew my eyes shut
I'll never be at peace, just leave me to grieve
I know I'll spend the rest of my days feeling this unease

13. Emptiness & Everything in Between

Resentment, it knows me best
Give into it to easily, it's a feeling I can't repress
Constricted lungs and lurching gut
Latching on to this vacancy, it's become my crutch

You can say I'm still built on mistakes
Day by day still swallowing more than I can take
You can say I'm still built on mistakes
Day by day still swallowing more than I can take

Sickness worked it's way in
I'm right back to where I began
Praying to these demons within
I hate that they always win [2x]

Bad days and disappointment, all that becomes relevant
Time is moving on and I just can't keep up with it
I'm a nobody, I'm nothing special
I second guess myself
I'm overwhelmed by the pressure
Trapped in this place of uncertainty

Here I am empty and everything in between

Sedate this feeling that's wasting me away
Absent of light, I'm losing faith
Unwanted and still unloved
I'll always be convinced that I'm not good enough

All the days are starting to feel the same
And I'm afraid this is something that I'll never shake
I'm continuing to split at the seems
All I have is emptiness and everything in between







VCTMS LYRICS