VESANIA LYRICS

1. Halflight

even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of
death, I fear no light I fear no pain I fear no salvation. as I stand on the top of
the highest pile of skulls, I inhale fear and exhale anger.. I summon thee, spirits
in the depths and in the stars. confront me as I am, for blasphemy against you
all.. as the fallen remembers the heavens and joy - I cherish all past
reminiscence. the greatest curse of all is we can never forget what we've lost..
"once I was the one to crave your light, and I was the one to ease your toil". the
greatest loss is what dies inside, dies inside of us while we live.. this is how it all
began, I was left with nothing. first you let me touch and feel this sober
adherence, then you make me watch you die.. as I go through the motion of my
life, the tranquility and calmness was what I was looking for. now as I came to
the place of no return, I'll make you all loose your belief and burn.. and when it
all ends, when your hopes are gone, I will understand all the things I've done.
seeing all the graves and weeping men upon, nowhere to go from here, I face the
barrel of a gun.. all knowledge comes from experience. loss and possession,
death and life are one. there falls no shadow, where there shines no sun.

2. Innocence

See your father, son, come sit and listen. I've been walking on a rather strange path, but here I am now unmasked. Take a deep breath, the monster under your pillow I've been passing over with, silence, and I've been lying for as long as I could, so you could have your
playgrounds. But now this time has come for you to know - soon you'll start to like your sleep more and more, because when you're awake you'll see your life falling apart. And the stars and the skies you'll never reach them. You've been given a wish without being given
the power to make it true... Well well well my father, you may want to reconsider. Yet I've been told by your adversary - I'm always free to change my mind, chose a different future and a different past. Is it so? No! "Look deep in my eyes past all the lies, past my act
past this disguise, past the scars and past the tears, you will see only fear" and this time up on the earth, living by the "things will get better", holding the thoughts back will never save you from yourself. You are your own end.

3. Desillusion

the silence, the awakening in the middle of a scornful sky.
examination of conscience, a true believer crescendo of clarity and soul misery,
disintegrating common sense, the human hybris reckoning. for yours is the
kin going and the power and the glory of the possession, the conquering, the
knowing, the fire in the heart and vows to yourself to the world to the lovers to the enemies to deceivers and friends. oh how far can you go in trusting to be
your own god?.. how good does that sound, how sweet is it to your ears.. they
understand, they seize, they teach you to withstand the defeat the confusion
the will to survive with nothing in the end. to maintain a delusion state of mind
of control and of power - blissful sedative. you're free to believe what
you're made of makes some sense. somewhat powerless, roughly hedonist, you
follow the pattern. libertine free of morals, stronger than all you're in control.
damn you oh what a tragedy. the striking irony. relentless soul in a cage of
mortal ghoul.. let others see what you don't see. there is no light in the tunnel..
there is no light whatsoever.. there is this one thing about the mankind -
a bitter lesson to learn, a reason to live: the man is just what others comprehend.
they have their ways to see. so if you seem to have faith in yourself and you're
strong enough to reconcile, acknowledge the fact, that every other conviction
you may have is one miserable pile of secrets.. and no one will ever know,
how deep is your sorrow, how joyful is your happiness. may then your fear of
tomorrow reassure you of your forthcomings.. you'll be dying alone.

4. Vortex

you're the contamination of earth.. solemn strive for vicious
power, perverse repulse of darkest hour.. and the world will strike back
upon your urge, will hunt you down and you're fertilize this exhausted
soil. why would you even think, why would you even try. for this one and
every moment, your visions are free to die.. solemn strive for real filth,
perverse repulse of sense of guilt.. all of this has happened before, and all
of this will happen again. amor fati, scarab, the recurrence eternal.
hysterical patchwork makes no sense, you catch a piece a glance, and you
tumble down to rise again.. the empires falling, twilights of the gods.
seven deadly joys cacophony. restless hearts sleep alone tonight.

5. Dismay

As you keep pushing forward,
you hold on to righteous self for self power sake.
Prove you're not a coward - go on with decisions to make...

In consequence of your creation gods are crying in dismay...

Visions of the future - they will devour you,
Reconciling with the past, what a shame.
Watch the answers change for all questions you ever had.
Comprehend, cogitate, realize it's going nowhere. Obliterate...

The point of absolute prostration,
A man stripped down to the very fear
and none of you shall reach out to him...

Drowned in disease,
Crowned with your fears,
Paralyzing self-righteousness,
All your loves gone in tears.
So close yet so far so distant yet so near.
The aesthetics gives you joy, sweetest of all decoy,
You're barely human, more like a creature.
You may defend what's left, you may pretend to live.
Horrifying death you'll be facing...

I've done everything you wanted,
Like the ancient tragedy.
You're not what you were meant to be.
Means and ends are seen...

"Learning means finding out what you may already know"

But before the curtains close,
To awaken all the hopes again,
Deus ex machina is descending from the top.
The audience holds the breath, faintly rising from their seats,
Eyes wide open, here comes their happy end...
But wait... there's a halter on his neck.
Ghastly pale going down with the ropes...
Averting human's fall in the hangman's dream.

6. Glare

radiant figure hanging above your heads, deviant image -
apotheosis of a man. crawling crying affiliation, praying dying fearful
acclamation bound.. commemorate the omnipotence and inappropriate
delusion of grandeur. embrace dejection of courage. dismay, cast down your
pride.. remember - you're the one - one of many.. "my sheep hear my voice,
and I know them, they will follow me".. remember - you're the one. the one
of many.. can't you see the contrivance - the word of god - useful misguidance.
killing lying in the name of divine reason. you'll never see his face.. "and I give
them the eternal life, and they will never perish. and no one will ever snatch
them out of my hand".."my father who has given them to me, is greater than
all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the father's hand".. when one
person suffers from a delusion, it's called insanity. when many people suffer
from a delusion, it is called a religion.. religion? ..just pull yourself together.

7. Notion

the reason I created you - well. it was never an issue to me while
it was happening ...once I started going the path I chose, nothing seemed
real, and nothing seemed impossible. I gathered the tools they gave me,
I summoned all grudge and hatred and grief. going down, way down. to see:
the sorrows, the demons, deep regrets and sins.. I felt this, I was the son of
magic of power of will to create. so I built all the dukedoms black. thus spoke
the night spirit.. this fire that burned in the heart, this freezing moon
allegiance. mother north I commenced the crusade, crying wolves blizzard
beats - speak the gospel of disease.. against the sun, across the mirrors,
throughout the space. I made it all clear and selfish statement - I am what I do.
will you follow me? ..now you see this my reflection of yours. you're observing
it defenceless, the adherence is far beyond intention.. I didn't want you to
compromise your will, I didn't let you in, that's not your promised land.. and the
vision and the might and your insight and the light, that shines through these
stained glass windows in this cell, they will never be your guide, they're here for
me to hide from all I was too weak to fight elsewhere.. I don't want to leave you
with nothing, but I'm afraid I have to say: It went too far to accept it, get away
from my fairy tale. take your toys and move away, gather your dreams forget
them all, before you end up like me. you don't want to end up like me.

8. Disgrace

rising of a solemn ceremonial dawn. fainting of a darkened yet
resplendent sky. gazing down at the shadows of those I left behind. listening to
the hollow overtaking stillness.. so convinced of things to come on this day.
I awaited the sunrise.. I kissed all that I cared of, I paid off all that I owed to anyone,
I closed all doors carefully, closed the undone. I wanted to collect all these
moments of joy and I have them all standing all around me now.. I'm ready, the
time is ripe. the things undone no more standing in the way of my resolution, my
final composure. I'm done trying to live.. I walked up the road that I planned to
this tallest bridge across forever. you saw me passing by and never said a word.
I climbed to the top and stood right on the edge. the sun was rising, the air was
thin and you could hear the water glides. the mind so clear for this everlasting
moment of clarity. the feeling so pure and free of morals as I spread my arms
wide.. and then I felt this. cold shivers creeping flesh. I turned around
convulsively holding to the ground, so scared, so terrified I didn't make
a sound.. and I stayed there kneeling down, despairing and facing the dirt,
calming down this trembling flesh and bones of this wretched self. I would never
thought there could be anything more pathetic than this. why cant we neither live
nor die, why are we so weak.. going back, my head's down. uttermost disgrace,
and a life to face.. I'm sure you were there, why didn't you push me down.

9. Fading

ascending through the tissues, fractures, raging cells. the inner
force of life builds up the flesh and spreads. pushing so hard, willing so
strong. no matter what comes, regardless of all. what for?.. descending
through the weakening force, the downward walk. shrinking egos, shredded
mind, awareness of the grave. the ending is always the same - as simple as it
sounds, as obvious as ever, it all just ends.. all these things you want to believe,
just a need to prove you belong. all you think you want to achieve, just
a mind's trick to make you proceed.. "I am not what happened to me, I am
what I chose to become". oh you wish you could say that. oh you wish for so
much.. so concerned about things that come next, you forget this short moment
you live in. you will never have anything else, embrace the obvious before
you're gone.. "the reality is what it is, not what you want it to be". every life
comes with a death sentence.. look around and let things lie.. now you see what
you've done to the world, and you see what the world has done to you.

10. Scar

the dying embers of repressed ambition: I forsake. this crying
performance of morality: I leave behind. god may forgive you, but I never
will. et in arcadia ego.. ..we never really had a chance to build this house, even
when we tried so hard. stone by stone, piece by piece, I've built it in my head.
I think I started living there, while what we really had, was turning into dust..
it was full of stairs and mirrors and reflections, like a castle of wishes adorned
with deception.. no one has ever came to my door, but I think I thought I saw
you try.. "you must find this place in your heart for the one you love the most"
- that is myself. "why do you say that, you never went this road before" - you
made me observe.. each word, each cut, open wound. I stitch them up, but my
scars, will do a lifetime with me.. I loathe the faith I had. I despise this hope
forlorn. through the ashes of intention, life is a one man show.. I came to the
point, where happiness is what is left of the willing. I throw a match behind
my back. this house took years to built and a moment to burn.







VESANIA LYRICS